Sunday, September 1, 2013

Adopt-a-Blogger TCIE

Um.  Awkwaaaaaard.



I really had not planned on being an adopted blogger.  And when I was 'selected' through prayer by last month's blogger, my knee-jerk reaction was to politely decline the offer.  "I am so touched!  Thank you so much, but since we are not currently trying to conceive or adopt, I think we should choose somebody else."  "Somebody who stands a chance," would have been the subtext of that reply.

Instead, I stopped myself from replying right away.  I prayed on it.  Do I still long for children?  Yes.  Do I believe the Holy Spirit knows better than I do?  Sometimes :)  (I'm a stubborn thing.)  Do I believe the power of prayer has the potential to work not just in the here and now, but for all of eternity?  Absolutely.

And so, here is my brief introduction.  (Let it go without saying that I thank you immensely for the gift of your prayers this month of September.)

Married August 19th, 2006.  The day our family became two is the day we started trying to make it more.  A cursory look through My Story will give you an idea of the amount of Drs, diagnoses, tests, and treatments undergone through the years, spanning from the NY/NJ/PA area out to the midwest, down to Florida, and long-distance to California and Ireland.  Devastating as it was, and I mean in no way to downplay a woman's desire for pregnancy... but missing out on pregnancy was never my heart's cause to break.  The inability to adopt and foster has instead been the nail in my coffin.

I now know, looking back on many of these years of trying to become a mother, that the absolutely insane mission I was on had more to it than just a woman's inherent yearning to nurture her children.  It was fueled by another cross, but regardless of how full I kept my tank, the car eventually broke down altogether.  I once wrote about following God's GPS system to get to my destination, rather than relying on my own.  Now I understand, there's no GPS when you get out of the car and continue your journey on foot.  The Holy Spirit is my map.

While I continue to stumble and falter along the way, I do very much still hope that children may be a part of this life here below.  In 7 years of trying, never having conceived, and never having been "pregnant on paper," sometimes I surprise myself that there is any hope left at all.  I am not sure I've encountered a bleaker outlook.  But the hope remains.



This month's pick as Adopt-a-Blogger is divinely timed, indeed.  I ask for your prayers that God continue to surprise us, continue to bless our marriage, and continue to lead us closer to Him in all things.  And if it be His will, that He may, against ALL ODDS, lead us to our children someday.

Thank you.

21 comments:

Casey said...

I'm glad you didn't turn down being the Adopted Blogger for the month. You never know how God wants to bless you through prayer, so if it's been discerned that He is calling all of us to pray for you this month, then it's best not to fight it! :)

Plus, I know that I for one (and I'm sure all of your faithful readers) am excited and honored to get to dedicate prayer for you this month, since you're writing has helped me so much through my own IF journey.

God bless!

GraceofAdoption said...

So humbled to be able to lift you up in prayer this month. It is beautiful, and a testimony to God's grace operating in your life, that you hope and trust Him. Thanks for sharing your story with so many.

Rebecca said...

You already know what I think about this :)! Lots of prayers will be coming your way!!!!

Catholic Mutt said...

"Do I believe the Holy Spirit knows better than I do? Sometimes." Haha! So honest, and SO TRUE some days. But I am glad you prayed about it, and are accepting of it, and I will be joining the prayers as well. :)

Sew said...

A good act of humility for you, I see!!! Yay!!!

Pray for you daily!

Kaitlin @ More Like Mary said...

praying :)

Silvana said...

Praying for you this month. <3

Stephanie said...

This is so wonderful! Yay! Many prayers will be sent your way this month :)

Also, the awkward cat photo... bahahahaha!

Nancy Shuman said...

Just "happened" to click on your blog today. Realize it's the 2nd of September. I have lots of time to be part of this united prayer effort, so I shall be privileged to do so!

Amazing Life said...

Praying for you friend.

I know that our crosses have been different, but sometimes I hope that the time my husband and I spent waiting and the struggles we endured could be a sign of hope for others that time is not an indicator of when, if, or how God will move to make in order to answer your prayers. You are one of the strongest women I have 'met' on the blogs and you are such a bright light for Christ that shows others that faith is not just strengthened when the desires of our heart are given, but in knowing that God is the ultimate companion we want - our one true desire - on this journey.

one joyful day said...

Sending so many extra September prayers your way!!!

JellyBelly said...

You are always in my prayers!!!

the misfit said...

Will be praying, of course. God has done way weirder things, as you know :).

St. Rita's Roses said...

Well, its ABOUT TIME!!!!!!!!!! Of course I am praying!! Miss you!

LifeHopes said...

TAKE THE PRAYERS!!!

And, as always, know you are being prayed for over here.

Love,
D

Infertile Minnesota said...

Prayers, Amy!

Hebrews 11:1 said...

Oh you know I'm all over it!! Every day, girl!!

Angelique said...

So glad to be able to pray for you some more!

prayerfuljourney said...

Who couldn't use prayers...I'm going to offer up a lot this month...I'm glad it's for you since in reality...there's only a handful of us that are kind of long time bloggers who are still waiting. Waiting to accept, have a baby or just waiting for God's Will to become more evident. God Bless you.

Hafsa said...

Praying right now.

Mary said...

Praying for you! I believe with all my heart that the incredible, Christ-like love and encouragement you pour out to so many will come back to bless you a thousandfold, because love always gives new life. I pray it will be in your children, God willing, and that, whatever His plan, your cup will overflow!!