Sunday, January 22, 2012

My First Baby

The talk with MIL went extremely well! She was very open, and was already very understanding - as was suggested by Suzie-Q in the last post's comments, she did sympathize with my situation when planning, and just didn't want to intentionally "leave me out" of anything. She was so receptive, in fact, that she began crying when I was talking about the 5 stages of infertility well before I ever did ;) When I was telling polkadot about the talk, I said there was a certain point when I did "lose it." MIL was telling me that she realized how painful this must be for me, and that it really struck her how painful it also is for DH when earlier this week, he told her that he just couldn't set up the crib. (At first, I didn't know what she meant by "THE crib." I was thinking, Why on earth would he be setting up a crib when we're not even pregnant??) But then she saw my bewildered expression and elaborated, "SIL had asked for his help to set up the crib, and he apologized and said he just couldn't handle it."

And that's when I lost it. Because, this was the first time I was hearing about this. And I know DH didn't tell me about this for a reason. Talk about breaking my heart.

I went on to tell polkadot that I was so impressed that I was able to cry in front of her, and by the end of the talk, I had shed at least 2 tears. She looked at me through her own bloodshot, tear-filled eyes and said, "You shed two tears??"
"Yes! That's huge for me!"
"Well... good for you shedding two tears..." responded my Phlegmatic friend ;)

So, it was great. The shower was not really even mentioned specifically. I did say that I wanted her to know that past or future events that corresponded with extremely difficult hormonally-charged days for me were avoided for this reason. I said it didn't matter if it was a child's birthday or a bachelor party, if it was cycle day 1, I probably would not be in the mood to attend ;) We shared a laugh about that.

And in other news, I am tickled pink to announce that IN MY HOUSE was created my very first baby...


I think it looks just like his father.

And here I thought I was barren ;) I MADE A BABY!!!!!!

OK, off to watch the Giants (who I only "really" watch in the play-offs, I must admit.) Thanks for all your prayers on Friday, they helped calm me down. I was literally making myself sick to my stomach thinking about getting so emotional in front of MIL... so silly of me!

18 comments:

imusthaveprayedforpatience said...

I can't tell what is in the pic, but congratulations! And, I'm glad the talk went well. I bet that's a huge weight off your shoulders.

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

Kombucha scoby ;)

Simone said...

glad everything worked out.

Little JoAnn said...

Kombucha Scopby? Wow! Please enlighten me.

Two tears...two big tears...

I am glad she told you about the crib request.

I hope you don't mind that I am mad that your SIL even asked him about it.

callmemama said...

Yay kombucha! And glad the talk with your MIL went well :).

Sew said...

Closet boocher! ;) Don't die! :) LMBO!

LifeHopes said...

So glad the dentist visit from hell paid off for you:)

Seriously, I am so happy to hear it went well.

Rebecca said...

Oh I am so so glad to hear it went well! You have been in my prayers all weekend, and hearing that someone else doesn't cry in front of others much makes me feel so much better. I've worried for a long time that those who know me IRL must think I'm so cold and uncaring because I don't cry when I talk to them (I never thought it was my temperament...duh!).

And I am so glad for FB, because when I read this I was like "what the heck is THAT?!?!" I still need to consult go.ogle to figure out exactly what kombucha scoby is, but at least I have a start!

JellyBelly said...

You are my hero!!!!!

I knew you could do it, but I had 100% faith in you!

the misfit said...

I'm sorry, but that is gross. Whatever it is, I hope you're not planning to eat it. For my part, I will happily die at 40 and keep eating KitKats. I'll pray for you from Purgatory (God willing).

I'm so, so glad to hear the talk went well. Your SIL continues to sound like a real winner...must be inconvenient to be pregnant and not have a man around to assemble things, after you decide to have a child with someone you're dating (and not that stably). GOOD GRIEF.

Megan said...

yay Kombucha!! Glad the talk went well. :)

Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog for several months and thought of this post immediately during this morning's devotion. The verse for today was Psalm 126:5 and the message was that God has promised to ultimately redeem our tears in a way that will bring amazing joy. I don't know how he will do that for you, but I just wanted to send a little encouragement your way. Bravo for opening up to your family! Letting others in is an important aspect of living the most full life possible.

Lisa said...

Oh, wow. This brings back a lot. My dealings with my MIL have been hit and miss on the infertility thing. She ALWAYS means well, but she is way less than tactful. When our infertility journey led us to seek treatment from a NFPMC, she suggested that "sometimes these are signs that not everyone is meant to have children." When we announced that we were pursuing adoption, she wondered at the wisdom of trying to raise someone else's child. (A point she has completely dismissed now, as our daughter is the light of her world.) When we decided to travel to Omaha for treatment with Dr. Hilgers a couple of years later, she again questioned our motivation for treatment after successfully adopting. Never mind that THIS treatment was motivated by an increase in pain and symptoms and an intense desire not to lose my ovaries to endometriosis. (I like my body to produce its own hormones, thank you very much.) She has since stopped commenting on our family planning decisions and realizes that each step is approached with a great deal of prayer and discernment, but that doesn't mean that the earlier comments don't still sting. Infertility is, apparently, very hard to understand from the outside. It affects your relationship with your spouse, your family, and with God. Hang in there. I'm praying for you.

All in His Perfect Timing said...

I was thinking about you all weekend and praying that your talk with your MIL went well. And I'm SO GLAD it did!
I'm a bit offended and horrified that your SIL would even think of asking your DH to set up the crib for her. Really? She hasn't a CLUE!
I had to look at what Kombucha was (tea) ... and now that I know, I hope you enjoy it. I just couldn't figure it out. :-)

Ania said...

So glad the talk went well. I have the opposite problem, I'm like freaking Niagara Falls! That's really hard about the crib. I'm always in awe of how different men and women handle things. I would have never been able to keep that to myself.

Also, what the heck is the pic of? It looks like dog food, LoL. You'll have to enlighten us.

St. Rita's Roses said...

First, I am so glad things went well with your MIL- I remember meeting her at your place..I am so glad she was understanding! Second, glad you cried...love it actually~~

Third, thanks for the call Monday.

4th- seriously that is so gross!! I can not believe I drink that stuff! Is that the mother root or something...Dr. KB told me he made his own too-geez, it can not taste good..does it?

Right Said Red said...

No sure how to contact you, but my sister lives in NJ and is struggling with secondary infertility and feel emotionally ready to start seeing an RE. I wanted to refer her to someone who shares her moral beliefs (she is not Catholic, but Christian). Could you e-mail me with any recommendations/suggestions. We are in South Jersey but I think she would be willing to drive for good care. Kelliemiller@mac.com

Silvana said...

Hi TCIE,

long time that you don't write in the blog. I hope everything is Ok with you and your family.
Hugs.