Tuesday, September 27, 2011

My Maternal Heart

I am really enjoying reading about all of you! Please continue sharing on my previous post if you haven't done so already!

I am halfway through my Novena to St Therese in the "Joy In Suffering" booklet. (I found it online for $3.50.) If there were any doubts as to why I'm not a Saint before... well, let's just say now there are NONE.

Reading this booklet is completely humbling. On Sunday, I read the reflections for that day right before Mass, and it stressed how St Therese felt that her suffering should be full of gratitude, peace, and joy, solely because that way Jesus could dwell in her in peace and joy. If her suffering took on a more torrid environment, a more chaotic appearance, then Jesus could not "rest" in her the way He should be able to. I had honestly never thought of it this way before. She said that we should be here to comfort Jesus, not the other way around. Wow.

So, I prepared myself for Holy Communion with these thoughts. Yes, my heart ached as I watched the young families around me, and knew I was just gearing up for my PMS week... but I let that aching translate into praise for God, and allowed myself to succumb to the peace deep within that ache.
When I got back to my pew, I knelt down, and seemingly out of nowhere, I envisioned not welcoming the Christ Man into my peaceful heart, but nurturing the Baby Jesus in my peaceful, maternal heart. I tell you - it took my breath away. It was perhaps the most powerful experience I've ever had at Mass. I felt completely at peace with the idea that I CAN BE A MOTHER WHENEVER I CHOOSE!! I can be that nurturing, peaceful, maternal heart for Baby Jesus every single time I receive the Eucharist!
Why did this never occur to me before??

It was surreal.

I know that if I never become a physical mother on this Earth, I'll suffer greatly, but it will be a suffering I can handle. Hopefully, I can handle it well. But I have discovered that no matter what happens, I am a mother. I need to continue honing my motherly skills, to strive to be the very best spiritual mother I can be, not just for the Child Jesus in the Eucharist, but for the Child Jesus in every child I encounter throughout my day.

This time is not just about waiting, and striving for life after death. It is about embracing the little pieces of heaven that we can achieve through our crosses while we're here.

And I can't wait to find the next piece.

18 comments:

E said...

You are so amazing! When I first met you, I knew you were so motherly. You truely have a mother's heart. You are suffering so well, my friend.

Sew said...

Pearls my friend, pearls.....

Beth said...

W.O.W. That's really all I can say. That, and thank you!

allyouwhohope said...

Beautiful! Wow! And St. Therese is awesome :)

Silvana said...

Great post! :)

Anonymous said...

This is so so beautiful. I'll definitely keep this in mind at Mass tomorrow.

-God Alone Suffices

the misfit said...

I am, as usual, blown away. And I haven't responded to your other post (85!) but you know I'm reading :).

Kaitlin @ More Like Mary said...

Wow-thats'....genius.

Little JoAnn said...

Baby Jesus Loves Your Heart.

surpriseofunfolding said...

Wow - what a last paragraph - that really hit me:

This time is not just about waiting, and striving for life after death. It is about embracing the little pieces of heaven that we can achieve through our crosses while we're here.

For myself, I would change the word 'achieve' to 'receive' - it just feels better to me personally. It is so true that things fly by us when we could notice them, even while suffering through our crosses.

Thankyou for writing this.

Andie

JellyBelly said...

Honestly, every time I read one of your posts I am so humbled! How could you be a friend of mine????

You hit the nail on the head, I just never thought of being a mother to the Baby Jesus!

God bless you!

Chasing said...

Wow.

Lauren @ Magnify the Lord with Me said...

That is so beautiful. I absolutely love it and will be reflecting on this bit time at Mass!! Thank you for your open, sweet and beautiful heart!

CM said...

Amazing and beautiful.

Made For Another World said...

What a beautiful reflection! Thanks for sharing with us. I'll have to pull that book out- it was hard for me, but now with your insight, and a second read through, my heart may be more open.

Hebrews 11:1 said...

You never cease to amaze me! If only I could bear my crosses with 1/10th as much grace as you do. I have a feeling you'll achieve that sainthood yet. :)

barbie said...

Beautiful, just beautiful!

Amazing Life said...

Stunning!!!

I remember in college I did a talk about how we all 'give birth" to the Christ Child when we live in love, but your reflections brought tears to my eyes :) So glad St. Therese is your spiritual companion right now!