Saturday, September 10, 2011

I Am So Blessed

You may think this post would be accompanied by a picture of a positive pregnancy test. Or perhaps another big announcement. But instead, things here are status quo. Not even my cycle has shown improvements (this month I had black bleeding with gigantic clots at the end of the period - lovely, I know).

Status quo. For me, if you've ever read this blog before, you'll know that status quo is pretty much bottom-of-the-barrel. Depleted bank accounts. Failing fertility. Ongoing court battles. Family health issues and death. Pregnant unwed sisters-in-law. Constant humiliation from all angles. That is my status quo.

But I am beginning to understand how very blessed I am. I am, for once, seeing into the heart of the Beatitudes. Blessed are the poor. Blessed are those who mourn. Blessed are those who thirst for righteousness.

Blessed am I.

I can't even tell you how excited I am to receive my newly ordered "Joy in Suffering" novena booklet to St Therese. It will arrive just in time for me to begin a Novena for her Feast Day Oct. 1st.
I am just starting to get my feet wet in this new life of joy in suffering, and I think it took me so long because I just couldn't see past the pain. Little did I know then that it wasn't the pain I had to see past in order to find the joy. It was the pain I had to see INTO. God's love, all along, has been engulfing me inside of this great, big ditch - and here I've been, trying to claw, climb, and dig myself up and out just to get a glimpse of what I was blind to see I already had.

17 comments:

JellyBelly said...

I am so absolutely blessed to have you in my life! You are one of the wisest people I know.

Sarah said...

So many great thoughts to ponder here.

Perfect Power in Weakness said...

Wow- what an amazing post and such incredible wisdom and insight you have!

Little JoAnn said...

You may feel or have felt blind but we see your radiance and sanctity all ablaze.

Sew said...

I totally agree with Little JoAnn...

Your therapist gives out holy crack it seems! ;)

CM said...

Wow. What a beautiful post!

Jennie Ruth said...

These are gorgeous thoughts. Thank you for sharing them. It's what I needed to hear.

ALIVEINHOPE said...

Thank you for this post. This cycle has been more (physically) painful for me that any since surgery - with the exception of those cycles with problem cysts, I suppose - and I've begun to grapple with this reality. I definitely needed the reminder... I am blessed! : )

Sissy said...

Earlier this year, I made a commitment to myself that I would give more of my struggles to the Lord. I started keeping a prayer journal and it has been wonderful. I'm glad that you have a positive outlet for your suffering.

Hebrews 11:1 said...

I am blessed to know you--you are such an amazing person.

E said...

You are progressing so much faster than me! I am still bracing against the pain and it is so hard. Trudge on sister!!!

Made For Another World said...

Third Little JoAnn. I've read that booklet- very powerful. It took me a while to 'get' Little Flower's way of writing. It's so exaggerated in it's embrace of suffering. But it's precisely her exaggeration that opened my eyes (if only a little). I still have a long way to go along this suffering path.

The Toll House Cookie said...

May the embrace you feel today surround you in the days to come. There is a blessing in understanding our calling in life. I do not believe that our calls remain the same throughout our life, but to embrace who you are today will prepare you for what is to come tomorrow.

Ashley said...

very good thoughts to consider here TCIE!....thank you for opening your heart to us all.....

Rebecca said...

Thank-you for sharing yourself with us.

And I'm going to 'fourth' Little JoAnn

Clara said...

Praise God for you A! I am blessed to know you.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us! So much to ponder in this post. I will have to reread it a few times. You really are so insightful.

I fifth Little JoAnn.

St. Rita's Roses said...

To me, you are full of grace! Great post~ hugs my friend.