Friday, August 19, 2011

When the Choleric/Melancholic married the Sanguine/Choleric

(You can read more about our wedding and see pictures here.)

Today is our Fifth Wedding Anniversary. And since we began trying to build our family when we got married, it also marks the completion of our 5th year of infertility. In the past, I would say that this makes today bittersweet. But today, I choose to rejoice.

After all, my husband and I have survived more in the past 5 years of marriage than most couples I know have had to deal with in 45 years. And we're still standing. Our love for each other and for God has grown exponentially. Our understanding of our crosses, as being sources of spiritual growth, has come so very far.

I am reading "The Temperament God Gave You." It is amazing to see just how God is using our crosses to humble us and to better us. As a Choleric I have always tended to celebrate in my accomplishments and resort to believing all good things in my life came to me because of my own dedication, perseverance, and talents. God knew just how best to bring me back to total reliance and trust in Him, by allowing me to see that no matter how much I do, how much I spend, how obsessed I become - I cannot become a mother all on my own.

As a Sanguine, my husband is extremely optimistic, but lacks follow-through. In his youth, he tended to go along with the crowd in his spiritual beliefs, and found love and happiness in the wrong sources, justifying himself along the way. But through our crosses, he has come to know God better than ever, and once he realized that all the love and Truth in the world could be found in Him, he has become one of the most devout Catholics I have the pleasure to know.

My husband and I balance each other so well that sometimes it takes my breath away. God knew all along that he was meant to be my husband and I was meant to be his wife. My Melancholic tendencies can lead to perfectionism at its ugliest, and my husband has often wondered (aloud) if I will "ever be satisfied." I am learning to hone these weaknesses, through my childlessness, and as in the past I used to dwell on what ISN'T, now I try to focus on what IS - to see what is truly important, and to work to improve my life in ways that I can.

One of my husband's greatest strengths is his ability to forgive and forget. And thank God for that, because he has had plenty to forgive me!

Today, we will celebrate the marriage God gave us. We will revel in this amazing journey we've made it through in one piece, and know that no matter WHAT lies ahead, we will survive it. What an awesome day, indeed!! FIVE YEARS of some of the most painful suffering known to man... Thank you, God, for carrying us through!!

Happy 5th Anniversary, to my cheerful, hopeful, outgoing, loving, nurturing husband. Our marriage has stood the test of time, and will forever:

(My gift to hubby: 5th "Wooden" Anniversary)



27 comments:

Lisa said...

Happy Anniversary!!!! Lots of extra prayers for you today... and no worries still this month. :) May the next 5 years be filled with babies!

Leila @ Little Catholic Bubble said...

Happy Anniversary!!! A good marriage is above rubies!! God bless you for a lifetime of happiness!!

(From a fellow choleric/melancholic or perhaps melancholic/choleric)

matchingmoonheads said...

Congrats you two! How awesome you're choosing to celebrate this year...last year I wrote a really whiny post after just our 2 year and I felt pretty stupid after it so, I am sincerely glad you two have clung together and moved towards God. It. is. not. easy. And you're right, your marriage has known a stress many people cannot fathom. God bless forgiving husbands! And I'm sure there have been awful moments but 5 years is a LOT to celebrate. I am very, very happy for you guys!! Hugs :)

Rebecca said...

Happy Anniversary!

This is one of the most touching posts I think I've ever read - thank-you for honoring your marriage in such a beautiful way.

Elisabeth said...

Happy Anniversary! Beautiful gift. I hope you have an amazing day!

Joy Beyond the Cross said...

Happy Anniversary!!!!! I enjoyed that book as well. Both my husband and I are Choleric / Sanguines. It makes for some interesting discussions because of course we both think we are right! :)

Molly M. said...

Happy Anniversary! May you always be blessed in your life!

mrsblondies said...

Happy Anniversary! Beautiful post honoring your marriage and your husband.

Simone said...

Happy anniversary!

"His Perfect Timing" said...

A Very Happy Anniversary wish to the both of you!!!
When you described both your and your husbands temperament, I had to laugh as you are describing me and my husband too!
May you be blessed beyond belief this year. Have a wonderful weekend.

More Than Anything said...

Happy Anniversary!

A Martha trying to be Mary said...

Happy anniversary!!! i will go very soon to the Basilica of Guadalupe to give thanks to Her for our son and will also give thanks for your marriage and journey with a candle and prayers right in front of Her. I keep praying for you!

Faith makes things possible said...

I love your attitude!! Happy Anniversary to you both-I hope that this day and this upcoming year are filled with many blessings!!!

Tridentine Wife said...

Happy Anniversary Mr. and Mrs. TCIE!!! And my husband and I were reading that book too, we still haven't finished it but you inspired me to pick it back up.

Chasing said...

Happy Anniversary!

Silvana said...

Happy anniversary!!! :)

God Alone Suffices said...

Happy Anniversary! :) I love The Temperament God Gave You! I'm a phlegmatic/sanguine married to a choleric/melancholic, which make for some interesting times in our house! Praise God for the sacrament of marriage!

Second Chances said...

I LOVE that book! Although I have trouble figuring myself or anyone else out! That must be part of a specific temperament...

Happy Anniversary! Do you guys give marriage prep talks or anything? Cuz you should. You're a living witness of the holiness of the sacrament of marriage.

And, BEAUTIFUL clock!

Mrs. Mike said...

Happy anniversary TCIE!!! You have a great perspective on things and indeed have much to celebrate. I hope the next five years finds you blessed beyond measure.

JellyBelly said...

Happy anniversary my dear friend!

CM said...

Happy anniversary!!

Hebrews 11:1 said...

What a beautiful post. Happy anniversary! I love your attitude of celebration. :)

Sarah said...

Awesome post. And I too am melancholic (and am all too familiar with perfectionism and never being satisfied!!! I married an always-satisfied phleg. God sure knows what He is doing).

barbie said...

That's a great book!! Happy anniversary to you guys!!!

polkadot said...

Happy Anniversary!! :)

Lauren @ Magnify the Lord with Me said...

Happy anniversary!!!! I've been wanting to read that book...hear it's a gem! Love the clock!

Praying for your marriage and many joyful years in your future!

Mary said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! sorry I'm late!

I read that book before I met my husband, and when we met I had already "sworn" I would "never" date another choleric ;) HAHA. Funny that I married one!!! (I'm sanguine!)
I will tell you this - I told him "be careful not to be a 'wet-blanket' when I'm excited"... we still refer to the "wet blanket" sometimes :)

I hope you had a wonderful weekend celebrating!!! Here's to many more great years for you two!!!