This post is going to me more of a question than an answer. So, your thoughts are appreciated!
I just came from a dear friend's blog, DrGianna, whose beautiful baby girl Ivory was born exactly one year to the date of her St Andrew Novena, during which time she prayed fervently for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. Truly these answers to prayers are beautiful and obvious reminders of God's love for us. I always get goosebumps hearing about things like that! And looking around the Catholic blogs, there are a TON of similar stories...
But then there's the rest of us. Those of us who have literally exhausted all of our prayers, have pulled out every Novena known to man and even some obscure ones that many haven't heard of... and our prayers aren't being answered. Or at least, not yet. What are we doing wrong? Why aren't our prayers heard?
One of the reasons I brought the Prayer Buddy idea to the Blogs was because I firmly believe that when we pray FOR others, those prayers are somehow stronger than the ones they offer for themselves. Likewise, the prayers offered FOR us are stronger than the ones we offer for ourselves. Again, it would seem there's something to that, looking back at last Advent and the outpouring of pregnancy and adoption announcements... and then Lent.
But again, here several of us remain. And I can't understand it. Not only can I not understand it, but I can't STAND it. It unnerves me to see so many faithful, amazing women still not advancing in their adoption plans, still not getting any closer to a pregnancy... I get more upset for you all than I get for myself. This is a new level of suffering that just doesn't seem fair. At least a few years ago the Infertile Blog Community was, well, Infertile! We had a place we could come and vent, pray for each other, and know that what we were going through, everyone else could relate to IN THAT MOMENT. Now, with so many having had their prayers answered (and please don't take this to mean I am not happy for all of you who HAVE had your prayers answered), it's very different here.
It reminds me of those commercials... I think it's for some kind of insurance company... the man says to one kid, "How would you like a pony?!" and she ecstatically answers, "YEAH!!" His assistant brings out a pony, and she is beaming from ear to ear. He turns to the other kid and asks her, "And how would YOU like a pony?" Of course, she gets so excited she can't hide it, and quickly says, "Yes, yes!" And then he reaches in his pocket and takes out a plastic toy pony.
Really. I feel like some of us have been handed the short end of the stick, here. There are women riding their ponies ALL around us, and here we are with our despicable, sad little plastic imitations.
So, how exactly do prayers work? Why do the endless prayers of some go unanswered?
Sometimes I really just want to crawl up in a ball and not wake up for weeks...
And I really need to stop blogging when I'm PMSing...