Sunday, May 23, 2010

17th

On May 17th, two months to the day of the death of our incredible dog, Uzi, my dear friend from college suddenly passed away.

She had a series of strokes. She was 28.

While I wasn't in constant contact with her since college, she was one of my closer friends while we were in school, because she was in my all-female a cappella group (which was basically my life). She was SO full of life, and so confident, talented, beautiful, and strong. It makes absolutely no sense to me why she's gone.

Since I got the news, I've been mourning her loss and celebrating her life with all of the other a cappella group alumnae. But I've had mixed feelings about what I am to learn from this in my own life.

My friend was such a unique soul- always upbeat, could cheer anyone up, and loved to enjoy life (and had an amazing ability to get everyone around her to enjoy themselves, too). I feel that she did embrace life and live it to its fullest- but she had not yet been engaged, married, or had children. I grieve for her parents, who only had 1 daughter and 1 son - her father will never get to walk his daughter down the aisle. They will never get to see their daughter's face in the face of their grandbaby.

I realize there is more to life than these things. I also realize that not everyone has the same goals in life. But I keep thinking of the prayer I would pray to God almost nightly when I was a little girl: "Please, God, let me have a baby before I die." Would I feel, as I hope my friend did, that I had lived a full and fruitful life if my time is up before I am a mother? I'm not so sure.

At least, I didn't used to think so. But as I reflect on my friend's life (especially her young adult life with which I was most familiar), I see just how fulfilling and joy-filled it was. Never a moment wasted. Never an opportunity passed over. Everything she touched became more lively and more fun.

And I wonder... can I learn from her example? Can I start living every day for that day, and not invest so much energy in what will or will not happen tomorrow?

I am going to try.

Please say a prayer for her family if you will.

18 comments:

prayerfuljourney said...

I will say a prayer for that young woman's soul and for her family. Lord Willing they'll be able to remain strong and remember the strength of their daughter. She sounds like an amazing woman. You are remembering her in such a beautiful way.

I have one friend that I used to work with that was married a few times and never had children and never wanted them. She was happy with her life. She enjoyed her nieces and nephews (and she had a lot). I guess it's in how we all look at our lives and how we view our blessings.

Thankful said...

I am so sorry to hear of this and will pray for her soul and her family. What an unfortunate reminder to live life today and not dwell in the past and future (also the theme of our homily today).

I had no idea you were a singer, too! Do you still sing?

JellyBelly said...

I have thought of you often since I read on your FB that your friend died. It seems like this spring has brought us both sad, unexpected deaths.

I looked at the pics you posted of your friend and she looked like such a wonderful, fun loving person. I hope and pray that time will heal the grief that you and her family feel right now.

I remember last year when I was feeling so sorry for myself and I got the news that one of my students had a mom with cancer. It totally brought my suffering (which was not life threatening) into perspective. It was a slap in the face when I needed it.

We both have had quite the hard time in the past little while and maybe this is a reminder (albeit a sad one) that we have to live our lives to the fullest, even if we don't have everything we want.

I thank you so much for your prayers, I've been praying for you a lot as well.

Kelly said...

I am so sorry about your friend. Prayers for her soul and for you too.

Leila said...

I am so very sorry. What a gift she was to this world! And your reflection, as always, is inspired. Prayers are being offered for the family, and for your friend.

KC said...

So sorry you are experiencing yet another loss! Wow...very sad.

I had a similar feeling after my sister died. I thought how sad it would be if I died the next day and spent the last few years of my life depressed over not being able to have kids.

I wish I could say it changed me overnight, but it didn't. But it definitely gave me a new outlook and made me realize that I needed to do something about making my life more meaningful to myself. (i.e. I wanted to learn to feel like there was more to life than just having a baby)

I will definitely say a prayer for her family, and you too of course. So sad!

Sissy said...

Oh, TCIE, I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. That is so young. But I'm so thankful you can celebrate her life.

Suzie-Q T-Pie said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend! I will pray for her soul, and for her family and friends.

Erin said...

A-
I am so sorry to hear this! Sounds like your friend was a great person. It seems to really hurt when young people die...I will definitely pray.
Hope you are doing well otherwise. Did you try to call on Friday? I tried to call you back but there was something about your mailbox being full...
E

Sew said...

I'm so sorry to hear this....

barbie said...

I'm sorry! prayers are coming...

Kaitlin @ More Like Mary said...

Yes, I will pray for her and her family. I think the "lesson" you've pulled out of this is perfect. We all need to learn that.

Tridentine Wife said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your good friend and I hope you will find comfort in the arms of Christ. Thank you for sharing this story.

Grace in my Heart said...

I'm so sorry about your friend. How sad! Will say a prayer for her soul tonight.

mrsblondies said...

I'm so sorry about your friend. I'll be praying for her and her family. I'm glad you are able to see a little bit of good in such a sad situation.

Beth said...

A, I'm so so sorry to hear this. I saw some of her pictures on fb as well, she was so beautiful and full of life! She reminded me of my friend's sister who died suddenly a few years ago. Freckles and all :)

Oh how sad.

I'll keep you and her family in my prayers in a special way.

Mrs. Mike said...

I'm am so sorry to read this. Prayers for the repose of her soul. She sounds like she was an amazing person.

WheelbarrowRider said...

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. That is so tragic. I keep hearing similar stories, most recently a fireman was killed leaving two small children a wife...friend of a friend...and another friend has a friend that had two children die different ways in the span of 9 months. So terribly tragic. We will never know why these things happens, but I will absolutely offer prayers up for her and her family.