Monday, March 15, 2010

Miscarriage is NOT Infertility!

On Saturday evening, DH and I went to an "Indoor Summer BBQ" party at our friends' house. Every single couple there had, and brought, their children. Every single couple except us, that is.

One of the couples in attendance was my guy friend who used to sing in our a cappella group. That is, he used to sing in our a cappella group until he quit because he and his wife were going through a lot. They had suffered two miscarriages since they got married in Nov. '07. It was then May '08.
Three months after he left the group, they were pregnant again, and gave birth to a healthy baby girl last May. She is now 10 months old.

When they had their 2nd miscarriage in marriage (it was their 3rd total, she actually had gotten pregnant on contraception while they were engaged and lost that pregnancy, as well - when I heard of this loss shortly afterwards, I said "Oh I'm so sorry," to which she responded, "Oh it's ok, it's not like we were trying or anything.") I tried to lend them support both personally and professionally. I gave my friend some NaPro brochures, and shared with him what I had been through.
I truly felt horrible for their losses... miscarriage is something no one should ever have to go through, and when it happens more than once that just seems so cruel.

So, my friend's wife sat down next to me at the party on Saturday, and proceeded to tell me all about her daughter. What she eats, how she dances in her carseat, how she sleeps through the night, etc. etc. I truly didn't mind this. If I did, I would have stood up and walked away. I had had 3 margaritas. Trust me, I would have had NO problems being rude :)

It wasn't talking about her baby that was upsetting. Nope. I love babies. Obviously.
What I DON'T love is when the struggle I am going through is undermined. I'm not even sure that's the right word. But I can't think of a better one. Trivialized, maybe?
My friend's wife (who is a couple months younger than me, by the way) then began to give me Trying To Conceive ADVICE! "Have you tried whole milk products?" "You should find a holistic chiropractor." "I did acupuncture, are you doing that?" At one point she even said, "I literally did EVERYTHING for this last pregnancy, I pulled out all the stops." A comment to which I just smiled and inwardly thought to myself, "What do you think she'd say if I mentioned all the stuff I'm doing and STILL haven't been able to conceive??"

I just couldn't believe she actually thought she had something to offer me. She was NOT INFERTILE!! She never went more than 1 year, or 6 months, heck even 3 months between pregnancies. She got pregnant on contraception, for crying out loud! If only I were so lucky!

I realize I tread sensitive ground here, and I once wrote a post all about the way I viewed the differences between Infertility vs. Miscarriage, that I invite you all to read again. Where it gets sticky is when the worlds collide, and a woman (only the kind of woman God views as most able, in my opinion) is asked to endure both infertility AND miscarriage. I don't know how you gals do it.

Getting back to my friend's wife. Once she gave me all her "advice," and all of the stuff she did to get pregnant with her daughter (seriously, like 3 things), she concluded with, "And once I got pregnant with her that way, the entire pregnancy went over without a hitch. No problems AT ALL!"

Oh, how I wanted to look her in the eye and say, "Listen, Missy. Even if I were ever to get to the FIRST step of sperm fertilizing egg, I would have 9 months of shots in the butt, in the belly, IVs, infusions of saline-infused FAT, steroids, $90 prenatal vitamins, and every other pill under the sun to have even a chance of sustaining the pregnancy to term."

Gee, writing it all out like that really makes me wish we weren't Adoption-Infertile :(

While we all share a desire for a child, I think there is a big distinction to be made between trying to conceive for over a year with NO prior pregnancies, and trying to sustain a pregnancy. My previous post addresses these major differences.

To add to that distinction medically-speaking, I see how the difference is addressed in the NaPro research study that I am assisting my NaPro Dr with, along with another prominent NaPro research-only Dr. (I don't want to mention the name of the study because I don't want a google search to yield my blog post.) In any event, the research analyzes the success of NaPro for achieving pregnancy in those with infertility, and in sustaining a pregnancy for those with previous miscarriage or at risk for miscarriage. Couples are either enrolled in ONE or THE OTHER portion of the study, and it all depends on how they "present" at the time of their first appointment with the Dr. If they have a health history that would put them at risk for miscarriage but have not yet been trying for a year, they are only enrolled in the study once they achieve a pregnancy. If they have never achieved a pregnancy, and have been trying longer than a year, they are enrolled in the infertility portion. All infertility patients are automatically transferred over into the "sustaining pregnancy" portion once a pregnancy is achieved, because all infertility clients are treated as "at-risk" once/if pregnancy occurs.

You would think that after being a NaPro patient myself for 3 1/2 years, I would be in the study, right? WRONG! The reason? Because I did not PRESENT as an Infertility Patient at my first appointment. I got married in August '06. We went for our first appointment with NaPro in November '06. 3 months of trying-to-conceive does not an infertile make :) Of course, I had other MEDICAL issues that needed to be addressed: anovulation, PCOS, irregular bleeding, etc. Infertility is a symptom, NOT a disease or a diagnosis. If I had been trying to conceive as a teenager, I assure you I would have been infertile back then, too. But I wasn't, because I wasn't trying to conceive. Rather, I had PCOS, endometriosis, and infection issues as a teenager that went undiagnosed until I was 19, 26, and 27 respectively.

The reason I delve into all this detail is to illustrate my level of frustration with my friend's wife, and how her comments really did upset and trivialize my situation. As I put it to Thankful, it would be like speaking to someone who has a malignant brain tumor, and saying, "Oh I know just how you feel, I had a headache once. I took an aspirin and then I felt FINE! Have you tried that?"

38 comments:

Just Another Day In Paradise said...

Being the (not so proud) owner of 10 m/c's I totally agree with you. I will never have bio kids, but I have experienced the joy of seeing those 2 pink lines for the first time, and that is a day (as scared as I was at the time) I will never forget. The two are not the same, I, unlike my doctor do not classify myself as infertile.
I pray for you, that you too will experience the joy of seeing those lines, but that your outcome will be better than mine was. I think having those moments has helped me to be able to move on with adoption.

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

Thanks for your prayers, JADIP. You are in mine, as well. I also think there are many, many different levels to m/c... and having 2 is not the same as having 10, by any means. My heart breaks for any woman who has to deal with ANY loss, but particularly that horrific road of loss after loss.
I think REs have the same goal with IFers and M/Cers, which is to get them healthily pg and to deliver a live baby, hence the categorizing in the same field.
Thanks again for stopping by, I am awaiting your adoption story with much anticipation!

Kaitlin said...

Your headache analogy seems pretty accurate to me! I know exactly how those conversations make you feel. It's not that we want sympathy, we just don't want the opposite of sympathy, which I guess is trivialization like you said. I'm sorry you had to endure this at a BBQ. Continued prayers!

Sew said...

You open up a great conversation to talk about....Your poor little friend, I want to slap over her dumb fertile head. :) Ahh to be able to conceive so easily would be icing to the cake!

In some aspects I think it is a thin line and in other's I don't think it is so much thin...as friend whom you mention...You not so much infertile sweetie. :)

Just in my experience, being barren was OMGOSH so much harder to live with day in and day out. You can not trust any of the "protocols", did surgery work, do I have adhesions, why isn't my body conceiving, why does my empty uterus at night keep me awake by it's silence, I will never conceive, I will always be a hallow drum and on and on and on and on....

My one miscarried pregnancy healed so much for me. Though I can't and will not speak of recurrent pregnancy lost because I in no way can even fathom. I can still hear my cry the day I miscarried, it's haunting. But I am no longer barren and I no longer feel it.

With that being said I do think I am still IF because only one pregnancy in 4.5 years. I don't conceive easily and the nfp rules don't apply to this empty uterus.

Anyway, yes I am so sorry you had to sit through that...It's demeaning. As an IF myself, I would never GIVE you advice as our situations are so much different....I might talk somethings out with you, only for you to be able to educate me! hahaha

Who would have thunk when we first met, that our paths in the end might resemble each others...U r going to be one hot foster mom! :) I might even get you a fanny pack! ;)

I do love the headache analogy. :) It makes so much sense! hahahaha!

expatbarrenness said...

I have heard people use sterile and infertile to distinguish between the narrower case of those who can't conceive (somebody's got to teach me the handshake because dh and I are in the club - occasionally I will use "sterile") and those who haven't been able to sustain a pregnancy. (We don't know where on that spectrum we are - a somewhat different situation than most - because of the embryo donation situation.) The mc we're sure about in my case created the opposite emotional response that Sew had, because we'd had no reason to suspect that I might have problems. I was grateful for those days, but I didn't have any peace after the m/c - I am therefore hesitant to push folks with rmc "out of the boat" - but that doesn't change the fact that this woman was clearly unaware of the world beyond her nose and spouting so much nonsense as a result.

Ann - Building a Nest said...

I will say that I loosely throw around the terms “barren” and “infertile” regarding myself without giving much thought to if it is technically correct or worse, offensive to someone who may be truly barren or infertile. When I started the blog, I did not consider myself a RPL person despite having 2 m/c. All I knew was that I wasn’t getting pregnant on my own and seemed to be having problems staying pregnant (but in the traditional medical world, 2 m/c does not a RPLer make). I guess I wasn’t sure what to call myself. All I knew is it wasn’t “mom.” I still don’t know b/c I simply don’t know if I will ever have children.

As for the “friend” . . . everyone always thinks if you do EXACTLY what they did you will achieve the same result. They completely disregard that you have entirely different medical situations, different challenges, needs, etc. And worse, they completely forget that you (having been in the IF boat for so long) are doing way more than they ever thought about doing.

I agree with Sew. You’re going to be a Hot Foster mom, but do stay away from the fanny pack. Even Sew can’t pull that off :)

Praying for you.

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

Ann... even if it's leopard print?? :P

I should have been more sensitive in stating that this friend, like many many other people out there, has never had difficulty getting pregnant... whereas you women, regardless of when and how far along you were when you experienced your losses, always struggled to achieve that first step, as well.
I hear what you're saying, too, Ann... how medically RPL is after 3 losses... that must feel very isolating for those with 2, and I never thought about that. In the end we ALL desire to be mothers of living children. Some of us may carry our cross and fall once, twice, thrice, or multiple times with miscarriage. Others may not fall, but our journey may be a much longer road. But I believe those who are still actively carrying their cross can help each other carry theirs, regardless of what type of cross it is. But sometimes success stories are inspiring... and other times they are revolting ;)

Ann - Building a Nest said...

ESPECIALLY if its leopard print.

Oh, no worries. I think it is a very interesting subject all the way around and I think it proves, if anything, that all of infertility is just a gray area and not black and white which further proves people in an entirely different situation from you shouldn’t be so quick to dole out infertility advice so casually just b/c such and such worked for them. (I always want to throw a disclaimer out when I say something like that b/c I really do appreciate the advice I get from bloggers and comments . . . but, hopefully, you know what I mean. I guess there’s a difference in explaining your story versus telling someone what they should and should not be doing. I dunno . . . I’m rarely eloquent on these matters. Hopefully, you understand.) And you’re right, this girl was/is in a different situation all together and was comparing apples to oranges. It just isn’t the same.

BTW, have you tried having sex? I’ve heard that helps. (In addition to whole milk, of course).

the misfit said...

I've never had a m/c and I am sure that must be a special type of suffering. I know that never conceiving ever creates a particular feeling of EMPTY-ness - that some part of my femininity is not broken, more like ABSENT. There's just a blank space (metaphorically; they tell me I have a uterus) where a part of my life and identity would be. So for that reason, a m/c might fill part of that in. But I am sure it would be at the cost of so much more pain. I don't know that I would be strong enough to deal with that, and I am in awe of the IFers who are.

That said - this gal is of course not an IFer at all, because she got pregnant without difficulty. Which is not to trivialize the loss of her children. But if *I* bore a healthy baby after going down this road, I cannot imagine I would have *anything* to say to a childless IFer other than "I'm so sorry you're still waiting and wondering, and I feel terrible that the blessings I've received may be a source of additional pain to you." I just don't believe you can go through all this and have any other reaction at all.

Second Chances said...

She sounds VERY narrow minded. VERY! You have to be one of THE most educated people I've ever "encountered" on IF. How could she even think of giving you advice? Narrow minded. That's all I can come up with. It's not a criticism of her, just a fact. She has not experienced what most IF'ers have, and shouldn't be giving advice because of her lack of experience. Grr...give me a name!

Sissy said...

I don't know anything about miscarriage, so I don't know how to comment. I sometimes end up feeling that it's a choice for everyone how they want to proceed getting pregnant. I drew the line at oral prescriptives, and told my doc I would not do shots. That was it for me. For others, I know it is different, and I quickly cut people off when they try to tell me about this miracle doctor, or that miracle treatment. I told them I'm happy that we've moved on, and leave it at that.

Kathryn said...

Ugh. That conversation sounds horrible. It makes me want to cry.
What a poor clueless woman...

Sew said...

Ann I'm cracking up over your have you tried having sex comment! hahahaha That is almost as funny as a leopard fanny pack. Which btw I'm taking that other fanny pack back to the store...It's too bulky. Maybe I will do that now. :)

alliemich said...

after our 3rd loss, we were told we are labeled infertile by my regular doctor and now by the RE I saw last week. I tried to argue with the latter but she told me infertility is the inability to get pregnant and additionally the inability to carry a pregnancy to term. While the pain of our m/c were (and still are) so ridiculously difficult to bear, I know that not being able to get pregnant must be 2x as hard. I echo just another day in paradise...I pray you will one day see those pink lines that help erase some of the emotional scars left behind from previous loss and/or infertility, and I pray for your friend to be more sensitive in her discussions with you and others. Just this morning, a wife of my husband's friend sent me a text "It's a girl!" I wanted to throw my phone out the window and scream, "DONT YOU KNOW WE JUST LOST ANOTHER BABY???!!! SEND IT TO SOMEONE ELSE, JUST NOT ME, YOU HAVE RUINED MY VACATION BLISS! Sometimes people just say the wrong things to the wrong people at the wrong time. thanks goodness for tequila and sweet and sour mix.

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

Wait wait wait... am I supposed to have SEX??? Isn't pre-seed enough? I'm so confused...

LifeHopes said...

Ugh. How clueless can one person be?

Infertility and Miscarriage are two different animals, both ugly. I am in the IF boat. Never having conceived ... EVER really hurts and thats all I know about.

I simply do NOT have the patience to tolerate people like the one you described in this post. How on earth did you hold yourself back? You are a better person than I am.

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

I saw that she had good intentions... at least, I don't *think* she was trying to make me feel absolutely horrible about myself!! She just didn't stop to think, "Ok, wait. She's been trying for 1 1/2 yrs before I even got married. Maybe our 'pg issues' aren't quite the same..." She's more of a "say-whatever-comes-to-your-mind-without-thinking-first" kind of person.


In actuality, she's a limelight-seeker. While her losses were upsetting, she had everyone around her absorbed in it and her "struggles to get pregnant and sustain a pregnancy." In the meantime, our mutual friend (the one who threw the party) took the EXACT same amount of time to conceive her first child (10 months), and also suffered 1 m/c during that time. She now has 2 children, and recently had another m/c (last year). But she isn't out there telling her sob story to the world, OR sharing TTC advice with me, because she realizes she has healthy children which is more than what many people have.

barbie said...

ah......I've had that conversation once with two women who were saying how LONG it took them to get pregnant and how it was SO hard......oh and it took them 10 whole months! ouch right? Try 11 years baby...then we'll talk. Oh and they went on to have more kids too so.........stop complaining.

I've had people with 6-7 kids crying to me that they m/c their 7-8th. very sad as as it's a life that was lost BUT crying to the wrong person here, I'd take one and you have 7 so...........no sympathy here.

Gotta love the fertile world huh?

and then I have a friend that had 16 m/c her and her hubby BOTH have chromosome abnormalities.....and she is finally pregnant for number 17 (first to term) and is due next month! I couldn't be more excited, to have suffered so many losses is tragic............

Ann - Building a Nest said...

Houston . .. I think we’ve found THE problem!
:-)

Chasing said...

I'm sorry she was so clueless.

kcmarie122 said...

Amen!

Kaitlin said...

Oh my gosh-Ann! I had no idea sex was required for this! Good thing you clued me in! Laugh out loud!

Cecilia said...

I give you credit. I have zero (and I'm not exaggerating, zero) patience with advice from people who haven't been there (and while some m/c people have definitely been there, this woman definitely hasn't). It's one of the many reasons I prefer that no one knows I'm trying b/c good intentions or not, I felt my eyes narrowing just imagining having the conversation. Bravo for your patience.

I am however intrigued by this "sex" requirement. I've been searching the skies for storks....no?

Suzie-Q T-Pie said...

omg girl! I realy know just how you feel on this one! It drives me nuts to hear people say stuff like that. I just want to yell and say that I am infertile! I can't get pregnant so shut up! is that mean?? Sometimes it's good to let it all out on these pages rather than in person.

Praying for Hope said...

I see infertility as two stages: getting pregnant and staying pregnant. Each stage has its own trials, and I don't relish the thought of either. They end the same way: no children. Because of that, in my mind, they'll always be lumped together.

Having said that, there is a sense of aloneness at never having the opportunity to see that positive HPT. It's like you're somehow different from the rest of the world. You're not "one of them". You're standing outside this huge circle watching everyone having a great time on the inside while you're still waiting for the invitation to step in. It's hard.

Once you do get the unexpected invite, you don't know what to do with yourself, because you still don't feel like everyone else. You're an IFer who's pregnant or an IFer who has a baby. The IF specter haunts you.

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

I do have to respectfully disagree with that, PfH. I don't think anyone who m/cs once is automatically "IF," or even if they have God forbid more than one, if it is happening in quick succession. Their fears in pg must be so real and absolutely terrifying, but what I don't believe that they are the exact same feelings an IFer has when they become pg for the 1st time (or if they ever do). I highly, HIGHLY doubt, for example, that my feelings will be right on par with how this girl felt when she was pg.

Clearly there are similarities to the 2, but the big difference is 1 group are mothers, while the other group are not. But that prefix INfertility to me means INability. I would be more apt to classify M/C as SUBfertility.

a thorn in the pew said...

There are women who act like M/C is no big deal and that are insensitive re: IF and it does make me cry(a lot). With so many preg friends, being in circles of moms with babies, moms who are older and have no problem carrying babies to term, it makes me on guard. Sad bc I want to fit in and realize they have to walk on eggshells so I don't get offended or hurt. I know others have gone through this. I have experienced secondary infertility and M/C and I am alone in this journey amongst my friends. I pray fervently for all those who I have met online. Do not think you are alone and that no one cares. We may not have the same journey but the Catholic woman's journey is different(it just is). We rely on God and non-evasive treatments for help. So, I guess what I am saying is that we have all met rude ppl who don't "get it". You were brave to talk to her for that long. I don't think I could have done it.

Jemmers said...

My fav comment was from my mother-in-law who had 4 children in 6 years! "Are you doing it right?"

Well...I am not sure! please explain to me in detail what I should be doing! LOL!!!

I know people mean well....but the brokeness I feel in my heart, cannot handle these kind of comments. It is sooo much deeper than what they can imagin! I will never have bio-children. No matter if I stand on my head afterwards or not! Plain and simple!

Thank you for sharing this!!! Love it! Love you!!!!

callmemama said...

I think those of us who have never seen two lines would give ANYTHING to see those lines, even if we knew that it wouldn't end in a live baby. I know it sounds crazy, but I would love to know that even for a short time my husband and I had created a life, and that I had that life inside of me. That would be one of the most amazing feelings ever.
I can't even fathom how heartbreaking and just plain devastating it would then be to lose that child to miscarriage...after all of the years trying.

Lisa and Jamie said...

I'm sorry you have a "friend" who "thinks" she knows it all. People are so hard deal with sometimes. Even though they probably mean well, they really have no clue how hurtful and demeaning those comments are. I try not to "help" others going through IF because everyone's situation is different. I can only listen and tell what I've been through. HUGS!

Unlike some of the other people who've commented, I would rather be infertile with no chance of ever conceiving than go through any miscarriage, let alone 4 in a row. But that's just me and I know not everyone feels the same way. I guess I'd fall under both categories since, (after 4 years of this crap) I don't ovulate right and I can't carry a baby past 6 weeks. To me, emotionally, miscarriage feels much worse than my waiting to become pg month after month. To know that you created a precious life and have your body fail to protect it is the most difficult thing I've ever had to experience. To go through that kind of death is worse than heartbreaking. I'm to the point where I want to stop trying for a bio child because I feel it's not fair to the baby we've created, if they are alive for a couple weeks and then have to die because my body can't provide for them. But Dh wants to continue, so I will for him. And it scares the snot out of me everyday. I feel like a murderer.

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

Oh, Lisa, my heart breaks with and for you :( I honestly don't think I am strong enough to handle 1 loss at this point, and I can't understand how you have done it and still lend support for your friends. You are truly amazing.
I hope none of my words were offensive to you or to anyone who has been through a loss/es. Regardless of how many, or how long a person was ttc before their loss, plain and simple it is the death of a child. My God, there can be nothing more painful in this world.
My distinction here really is more about the fact that I feel like IF is more of a "hopeless" cause - hopeless of conceiving in the 1st place, that is, not carrying to term because I am sure someone with recurrent losses also fears ever carrying to term. I can sympathize though not empathize (and I won't try!) with your feeling like you don't even want to conceive again for fear of what may happen. I'm sure in the same position I would feel EXACTLY the same way. You and Jamie are always in my thoughts and prayers, and I know at the end of this horrible path you've been asked to walk, there will be some fabulous reward. Big hugs, and thank you for your comment.

Joy Beyond the Cross said...

Miscarriages stink, infertility stinks, having people that completely misunderstand you, try to minimize what we are going through - it can all be downright depressing if you ask me. Yes, I had 2 m/c in 5 months early in my marriage and then it has been radio silent down there over the last 14 months. I don't know what that means - infertile, probably not, I do like the term subfertility though, maybe I will have to start using that. However, I noticed that the fog I was in for most of 2009 - stressed out, lots of other emotions has lifted a bit and I have renewed energy for life - living life to its fullest with or without children. Because for me at the end of the day, infertility / subfertiliy / m/c has robbed me of enough stuff in this life already, so I am chosing to hold onto Joy. To laugh more, not take myself so seriously, etc. Doesn't work for everyone, but works for me in coping. Great post! Thanks for putting it out there, thank you for your honesty.

A Cheerleader said...

If only people said nice, supportive things when your baby dies. Here are two things I was told:

'It probably happened for a reason.'

'You should try again soon at your age'

I am saving the 'for a reason' quote up and using it the next time someone dies in her family because I am a horrible person and I know I was much nicer before my baby died.

Lisa and Jamie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lisa and Jamie said...

Sorry, there were typos in my first one LOL (here's what I wrote)

TCIE (I don't know if you're using your real name here or not LOL) I didn't take anything you said as being offensive, so don't worry about that :) I've known you long enough through this whole mess to know you didn't mean anything offensive in your blog. Just know that even though I'm not posting on BZ much anymore that I still follow you through your blog and hope and pray hard that we'll both end this journey as mothers, in some way, shape, or form :) Who knows... we started this thing together maybe we'll get our babies at the same time too!

K and T said...

I haven't read through all the comments (you've got a popular blog!).... so i may be repeating someone else's thought.
I've had three miscarriages. Never heard a heartbeat in any of them.
We were never diagnosed with any type of issue. Literally our doctor could not find a thing "wrong" with us....
I was under the care of two totally different, successful doctors.
We are in the adoption "process" (sigh) right now.... and we are "at risk" even in this......
It's such a tricky thing to say one vs. the other.... they are so complex..... so full of loss.... so personal (i know you know this already)...
when i miscarried with invitro i had someone say to me "does that even count???"
um.
hi.
i wasn't pregnant with an alien.... it was our baby.
it seemed i had every comment known to man w/no pregnancy and with pregnancy that ended in miscarriage....
also with the risk of loosing the children we're in the process of adopting....
people often don't know what to say.....
or how to feel....
or how to fully relate.....

WheelbarrowRider said...

You don't need me to tell you this, but geez-I know no one who has done more, learned more, come further with her dx and tx and is still on the journey. Seriously, the most educated IFer I know. The thought of someone trying to tell you...and then given her hx...oh my! You were nicer than I would have been. Think I would have laughed out loud spraying her with my margarita.
As far as your interesting comments on IF v. miscarriage, I am def curious and will read your other post. I am in no way offended. You obviously sympathize with how tough m/c is. And I must say, that I have always been clear that my case could have been "worse" in terms of # or severity of dx, but mostly its length of time it took to find the problems. I know we would have struggled and not gotten pregnant and then sought out meds, etc had our path been different, but we were fortunate to be dx prior to even ttc, so we have a whole different path b/c of that. Our path, in a lot of ways, has been admittedly easier than anyone on here, and I do understand that and greatly appreciate everyone's personal struggles.

Katie said...

GREAT POST
I have an acquaintance whose blog is subtitled something like "infertile till the last try" (she got pregnant after 1 year of trying.) It feels like a kick in the teeth every time I think about it. The label "infertile" just doesn't seem to apply here, or am I missing something.
My favorite let-me-tell-you-how-to-get-pregnant comment was "Hey, did you know you can chart your cycles?" Really? REALLY? No way!