Sunday, January 10, 2010

Prayer Request- Adoption Meeting

I feel like a prayer mooch... I'm always asking for prayers.

But this time I'm really scared.

Tomorrow is our meeting at the adoption agency. We meet with our Social Worker and with the Branch Director to find out if we are able to continue the Home Study after our forced break from June '09. (We began the adoption process last January '09, and began the Home Study in February.)

I am so nervous. The nature of our inability to adopt right now is such that, if we are told we cannot continue, we will not be able to begin elsewhere for quite some time. I know this sounds so cryptic, but I really don't feel comfortable getting into more detail. It's too depressing.

There is the possibility that we will be able to continue despite the set-backs, though. And that is what I am petitioning prayers for. If I am ever going to get pregnant, it will be over the next 3-4 months when I am doing every immune treatment available to me simultaneously, as well as hormonal support both pre and post-Peak. If I do not get pregnant over the next 3-4 months, I will not get pregnant ever. This is the honest to God truth. I absolutely cannot implant without Lovenox, and I most likely cannot conceive without Intralipids and steroids. And I'm not going to take these meds indefinately. I will give it 3-4 more months.

So, if I am also told that we can't get Home Study approved, what does that mean for us? It means that absolutely, positively, I will not be a mother for years and years at least, and possibly never. I will never get a call that a birthmother has chosen me, or that a baby has been born and I can come pick them up.

A good analogy would that I am to adoption as a woman with a hysterectomy is to fertility/infertility. Sure, some women with endometriosis, PCOS, etc. etc. may complain that they are "unlikely" to get pregnant with their ailments, but they have a womb, and they have ovaries. Therefore, there's always THE CHANCE.

I do not have ANY CHANCE at becoming a mother... not through adoption, anyway... not right now...

I can tell that a deep, deep depression is on the horizon should none of this work out soon. I only want to do God's will, this is true. But I won't understand why He's decided to make the journey so much harder for us than (seemingly) for anyone else. All I want is the approval to adopt, and then, I swear, I'd be happy to wait 14 years for the baby!!! I've never known ANYONE who was Home Study approved and "pregnant on paper" who didn't eventually get placed with their child. I know for CERTAIN that it would happen... in His time.

But what could be the reason for making us wait to get that approval to adopt?? Why are we being told by people who don't even know us that we are not fit to parent? This just breaks my heart.

So, your prayers are greatly appreciated for tomorrow's appointment at 3:00pm EST. The hour of Divine Mercy. Let's hope...

28 comments:

Cathy said...

Prayers during tomorrow's Hour of Mercy and before and after, count on it.

Find joy in every journey said...

Always prayers for you, my dear friend. :)

JellyBelly said...

Praying for you buddy!!!

mrsblondies said...

Praying for you!

Life In Mazes said...

You are not a prayer mooch :)

I will definitely keep you and your husband in prayer as you meet with the directors.
Big hugs to you! May God wrap your in his warm love and security!

Kathryn said...

Yes, you have endured a very very heavy cross. I will be praying hard tomorrow for you guys...that all will go swimmingly and you might find some respite from the suffering.

Chasing said...

Prayers headed your way.

expatbarrenness said...

you got it - prayers for you tomorrow (and right now as well :) )

Joy Beyond the Cross said...

TCIE...prayers coming your way! What a cross to bear, but as one of my IRL friends said to me long ago - there is "Joy Beyond the Cross". It was pretty dark and ominous that day on Calvary, but then there was the Resurrection. Keep on hoping that this cross will be turned into triumph. I lit a candle at mass today for all of us IFs who are struggling. I will continue to pray for you and specifically that the depression will stay far, far, far away!

Shannon said...

prayers, of course.

prayerfuljourney said...

Praying for you!

barbie said...

Oh sweetie, my heart hurts for you. Of course I'll be praying and I hope you get good news!

Vent-ilation said...

When I read your posts like today's, I just want to shout, "It's not fair!! Give this woman a break!" You're definitely not a mooch and thank you for being brave enough to ask for our prayers -- as if we're not already praying for you, though. Good luck tomorrow. We're all here for you, anytime. Hugs :)

K and T said...

I'm praying for you "as we speak".... I have a story on my blog, it's June 18th from LAST year (2008)..(The Story of the Silver).... I'm not sure if it will give you any peace, but, I posted it as a reminder that regardless of who is in this game of life, there is ONE who can move mountains.... and it doesn't matter who the players are. It doesn't matter who says NO, if HE is saying yes. I hope the story encourages you.
Peace to you,
K.

becomingadifferentperson said...

I will absolutely be praying for you! In fact, I will set a reminder on my phone so I can pray at the right time, ok!!

Big Hugs!

LifeHopes said...

You have my prayers, I CANNOT wait to hear how it goes.

And also still praying for multiples!!

WheelbarrowRider said...

no such thing as a prayer mooch! i am so glad i snuck over hear to read real quick before I went to bed! i will def pray!

Sissy said...

I'm on it!

Mrs. Mike said...

I'll be praying hard for you TCIE! Especially at 3pm. I hope so much that you get good news and the respite you need. I firmly believe, like K&T, that no matter what, God can move mountains.

Praying for Hope said...

You have my prayer, too.

callmemama said...

Will be praying for you today...hoping everything goes well.

Percolating Petals said...

Of COURSE you have my prayers. This is a big deal! Actually, I think even little deals need prayers too. Will ask St. Faustina to intercede for her.

Sew said...

always.......

Jeremiah 29:11 said...

Sending you prayers. Jesus, we trust in You.

Teresa said...

Praying ova here! Something's gotta happen. I know God's plan is NOT for you to be sad and hopeless. Something is gonna happen. He's good.

the misfit said...

You're in my prayers.

Ann - Building a Nest said...

I'm late getting here, but I pray all went well today.

Kim said...

Hope all went well today.