Well, 1 day earlier than expected, here are my results:
My specimen tested negative for: Mycoplasma, Aerobes, Yeast, and Trichomonads.
I tested positive for: CT and Anaerobes (under Anaerobes he wrote- "Very heavy actinomyces israelii and very heavy Proprionibacterium granulosum")
Who knew I had Israelis in my crotch?
OK, sorry... I am on the verge of puking, I just had to make a joke before I burst into tears (which I already did when I first read the letter).
Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely happy to be moving forward and getting a treatment plan that will very likely work for us... it's just never fun to hear that you have CT (there are "dirty" connotations with this disease, it doesn't matter if I received it vertically, people will assume I'm a whore).
But I digress. Back to the findings.
DH tested negative for everything except Anaerobes. He found moderate Proprionibacterium acnes in his specimen.
Then, his letter:
Dear Dr. Hilgers:
I appreciate your referring Mr. and Mrs. Blank-Blank to me for a fertility consultation.
Enclosed, you will find the results of the culture studies from 10/09/2008. The most important finding is the presence of CT in Mrs. Blank-Blank’s specimens.
I could not document the presence of CT or any other significant bacterium in Mr. Blank-Blank’s specimen. In a marital situation however we can assume that genital track flora is exchanged, especially CT.
CT can cause infertility, failure in IVF cycles and even if pregnancy takes place a miscarriage readily occurs. Infection with CT can lead to the development of pelvic infections. Lately I am looking at endometriosis as a form of CT caused PID with a significant immune component. Short of any other explanation, women with PCO conditions are born from parents where history makes me suspect a very strong intrauterine infectious vertical possibility. CT is a potent stimulant to the immune system and eventually the immune component becomes the most important issue in infertility. I see endocervical calcification so often with CT infection that in my interpretation they are analogous with the calcifications of the prostate in CT infection. Mrs. Blank-Blank’s cervix has significant calcifications and her ovaries even after the wedge resection show polycystic changes. Her endometrial lining has no structural differentiation
Mr. Blank-Blank’s prostate shows moderate lobular enlargement without change in his urination habits, at least not as of yet. Distinct scarring and calcifications are noted most prominently around the prostatic urethra suggesting causative bacteria entering through the urethra and causing damage in the surrounding structures first before jumping into peripheral zones of the prostate.
The heavily growing anaerobic bacteria recovered from the uterine represent a completely disturbed local flora due to the invading CT.
In my opinion, the Metformin therapy should be complemented with aggressive antibiotic therapy that would give the couple an improved chance. Two issues make me cautious in offering a quick fix of the physical problems and a rapid reversal of the immune issues; if my hunch of a vertical issue is correct, both the eradication of the infection and the reversal of the immune system will take longer and the course is unpredictable.
I am also enclosing a semen analysis report for you, Mr. Blank-Blank. I find all numerical parameters in the good range. The sperm quality will offer a good chance to produce a pregnancy.
Sincerely yours,
Attila Toth, MD.
The SA was the best it's been yet (the only really "good" news). 89 million/mL count!! Motility was a 3 (undulating, rapid progression) and 75%. Morphology I had no idea how to read, but it had numbers in each area, with 79 under "Ovals," 5 under "tapering," 10 under "small," and 6 under "amorphous."
I called the office to see what kind of treatment is needed, and to schedule it. Dr. Toth's recommended treatment for us both is a 10-day IV antibiotic, coupled with 10 days of uterine washes for me (see, I am a dirty whore), and 10 days of prostate injections for DH. We are scheduled to begin November 10th!!!! (Note: Exclamation marks should be read as excitement, fear, hesitation, anxiety, relief, and mania.)
So, I have my answers. Still not sure if we'll be able to TTC again in 2008 (the treatment will make my cycles whacky, I was forewarned). I'm also really concerned about insurance reimbursement. I know the IV is $4,000 alone... I am stuck between a million different emotions right now. I'll be writing more on this later, just wanted to keep you all updated.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Says it All...
As a Pro-Lifer (even registered as one), I often get a lot of slack, both directly and indirectly, for being "blind" to other issues, not truly understanding the tough situation young, unwed mothers are in, or for trying to take away a woman's reproductive rights. I recently received this letter from Priests for Life, written to the Pro-Abortion Candidates. I think it says it all.
An Open Letter to “Pro-choice” Candidates
October 27, 2008
Dear brothers and sisters,
In these days you are seeking the votes of your fellow Americans for public office. At the same time, you take the position that abortion, however regrettable it may be, should remain legal.
I write to express the convictions of tens of millions of citizens. Your position is a blatant contradiction to the very meaning of public service, the first requirement of which is to be able to tell the difference between serving the public and killing the public!
We ask, first of all, Have you ever seen an abortion? So many who defend abortion’s legality cannot even bring themselves to look at the horrifying pictures of children torn apart by the procedure (www.unborn.info). But if we cannot look at it, why should we tolerate it?
We likewise ask, Are you willing to publicly describe what you think should be legal? Abortionist Dr. Martin Haskell, in sworn testimony, described the “D and E” abortion procedure, still legal throughout our nation, by saying, “Typically the skull is brought out in fragments rather than as a unified piece…" (Madison, WI, May 27, 1999, Case No. 98-C-0305-S). In the same case, abortionist Dr. Hylan Raymond Giles, when asked, “Can the heart of a fetus or embryo still be beating during a suction curettage abortion as the fetus or embryo comes down the cannula?” answered, “For a few seconds to a minute, yes.”
When you say the word “abortion,” is this what you mean? When you say it should be legal, are you willing to quote those who explain what it is?
Your position is undermining the fabric of our nation. We repeat to you again the question posed by Mother Teresa in her speech at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington DC on February 3, 1994. “And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another?”
We have not yet heard a “pro-choice” candidate answer any of these questions.
That’s why people cannot vote for you, and you shouldn’t be asking for their vote. If you can’t respect and protect the life of a little baby, how are you supposed to respect and protect our lives, or any other right we possess?
When you ask someone for your vote, you are actually asking them to share in your failure to protect these children. You’re asking them to share in the deception by which you justify that failure. You’re asking them, too, to contradict the meaning of public service. They are not morally permitted to say yes to what you are asking.
We in the pro-life movement do not need any reminders about the plight of young mothers. We serve them every day, providing real alternatives to abortion.
Nor do we accept the accusation that we are narrowly focused on a “single issue.” We are not ashamed of the fact that we recognize a holocaust when we see one, and that we understand the foundation, heart, and core of our concern for all the other issues – life itself.
We’re not a vote for you to court or an interest group for you to appease. Rather, our movement represents the heart and core of every movement for justice. That is why, whether you end up elected to public office or not, we will be there – in the halls of government, in the media, and on the streets of every city, town, and countryside across America – pressing the cause of justice for a group of human beings whose rights you have forgotten.
We will neither cease to remind you, nor will we wait for you to remember. Our cause is as great as America itself, and it will prevail. May you have the wisdom to join us.
Sincerely,
Fr. Frank Pavone
National Director, Priests for Life
Priests for Life
PO Box 141172
Staten Island, NY 10314
phone: 718-980-4400
fax: 718-980-6515
email: mail@priestsforlife.org
www.priestsforlife.org
An Open Letter to “Pro-choice” Candidates
October 27, 2008
Dear brothers and sisters,
In these days you are seeking the votes of your fellow Americans for public office. At the same time, you take the position that abortion, however regrettable it may be, should remain legal.
I write to express the convictions of tens of millions of citizens. Your position is a blatant contradiction to the very meaning of public service, the first requirement of which is to be able to tell the difference between serving the public and killing the public!
We ask, first of all, Have you ever seen an abortion? So many who defend abortion’s legality cannot even bring themselves to look at the horrifying pictures of children torn apart by the procedure (www.unborn.info). But if we cannot look at it, why should we tolerate it?
We likewise ask, Are you willing to publicly describe what you think should be legal? Abortionist Dr. Martin Haskell, in sworn testimony, described the “D and E” abortion procedure, still legal throughout our nation, by saying, “Typically the skull is brought out in fragments rather than as a unified piece…" (Madison, WI, May 27, 1999, Case No. 98-C-0305-S). In the same case, abortionist Dr. Hylan Raymond Giles, when asked, “Can the heart of a fetus or embryo still be beating during a suction curettage abortion as the fetus or embryo comes down the cannula?” answered, “For a few seconds to a minute, yes.”
When you say the word “abortion,” is this what you mean? When you say it should be legal, are you willing to quote those who explain what it is?
Your position is undermining the fabric of our nation. We repeat to you again the question posed by Mother Teresa in her speech at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington DC on February 3, 1994. “And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another?”
We have not yet heard a “pro-choice” candidate answer any of these questions.
That’s why people cannot vote for you, and you shouldn’t be asking for their vote. If you can’t respect and protect the life of a little baby, how are you supposed to respect and protect our lives, or any other right we possess?
When you ask someone for your vote, you are actually asking them to share in your failure to protect these children. You’re asking them to share in the deception by which you justify that failure. You’re asking them, too, to contradict the meaning of public service. They are not morally permitted to say yes to what you are asking.
We in the pro-life movement do not need any reminders about the plight of young mothers. We serve them every day, providing real alternatives to abortion.
Nor do we accept the accusation that we are narrowly focused on a “single issue.” We are not ashamed of the fact that we recognize a holocaust when we see one, and that we understand the foundation, heart, and core of our concern for all the other issues – life itself.
We’re not a vote for you to court or an interest group for you to appease. Rather, our movement represents the heart and core of every movement for justice. That is why, whether you end up elected to public office or not, we will be there – in the halls of government, in the media, and on the streets of every city, town, and countryside across America – pressing the cause of justice for a group of human beings whose rights you have forgotten.
We will neither cease to remind you, nor will we wait for you to remember. Our cause is as great as America itself, and it will prevail. May you have the wisdom to join us.
Sincerely,
Fr. Frank Pavone
National Director, Priests for Life
Priests for Life
PO Box 141172
Staten Island, NY 10314
phone: 718-980-4400
fax: 718-980-6515
email: mail@priestsforlife.org
www.priestsforlife.org
Friday, October 24, 2008
one more thought...
also worth of noting... I had "bacterium vaginosis" or whatever the broad medical term is that's used for any kind of yeast INFECTION show up in my pap smear in late August. I never did get the antibiotics for it (which is probably better, since I'll be on a crapload of them soon enough), but if you go back and read my post from late-August you'll see that even the Dr said it was an infection that had been "brewing for a while" (typically you don't find yeast infection signs during a Pap).
Hurry up with those results, Dr. T!
Hurry up with those results, Dr. T!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Dr. Toth's book
So I bought Fertile vs. Infertile: How Infections affect your fertility and your baby's health online last week, received it a few days ago, and just finished reading it today. I STRONGLY recommend that everyone read this book!!! What an eye-opener it has been, even for someone who is technically already a self-proclaimed expert on infertility, and almost a certified expert on cervical mucus and bleeding patterns :)
The basic idea of Dr. Toth's theories, testing, and treatments is that pathogens can be passed through our systems both vertically (from mother to child in utero) and horizontally (between sexual partners). These pathogens can lead to all kinds of health issues in our future, and may start to display themselves earlier in our reproductive health. All of his theories just make PERFECT sense to me. The immune system of a woman, for example, shuts off within the reproductive organs during pregnancy- - which it has to do in order for her body not to reject this new life growing inside her. While her system shuts down, it becomes much easier for pathogens to invade her upper reproductive tract, hence infecting the baby and her. Oftentimes secondary IF is caused by this very fact. Evidence is shown, for example, when a woman begins to have severe PMS only AFTER the birth of her child. Or maybe her cycles become whacky AFTER birth, etc.
It's very interesting to me, too, to see how much of Dr. Toth's philosophy is exactly like the philosophy of NaPro Technology. Of course, he does still refer for IVF in some occasions, but NEVER before he gives nature a chance for itself (and usually only in cases where both fallopian tubes are blocked. Not that I'm condoning his referring for IVF, but at least this is better than the way most REs and ob/gyns do it.)
Here, for example, is a section of the book that speak to the treatment of IF as a symptom of an underlying disease:
"The standard, most widespread method of medically treating infertility is first to identify the problem that the patient or the patient's partner is experiencing, according to set criteria for diagnostic grouping. The next step is to work toward correcting or OVERRIDING it, again applying group-specific recommended treatment regimens.
What is wrong with this approach? Why does it so often fail to yield satisfactory results?
I believe that the fault usually lies not in the treatment phase but in the identification phase. Too many times doctors begin treating a problem as soon as they detect one, instead of investigating the problem more thoroughly to discover its ROOT CAUSE. In effect, they wind up organizing treatment around a symptom rather than the illness itself.
For example, suppose doctors discover that the male partner's sperm count is low. Proceeding on this information alone, thei will often make a concentrated solution of sperm and inject it directly into the female partner's uterus. The truth is that the low sperm count may be due to an infection. If so, artficial insemination is very likely to transmit that same infection into the woman's upper reproductive tract, where it can wreak even more havoc."
Earlier in the book, Dr. Toth explains that pathogens are very often the culprit of a number of health issues, and that infertility (in any diagnosis), is also usually due to the transmission of infectious bacteria between the spouses (horizontally) or from mother to child in utero (vertically). He explains that nature already has a very sophisticated process in place for filtering out and fighting these infections. Basically, there are two reproductive "tracts" in the woman's body: upper and lower, separated by the cervix. The cervix and its mucus act as a natural barrier to infections passed horizontally (through the seminal fluid), by preventing it from entering the upper tract. It does this by making the mucus "hostile" to sperm. If untreated infection persists along with intercourse between the infected partners, often times the man's sperm will also be affected, and decrease in count, morphology, or motility. Again, this is nature's way of ensuring that those infected sperm do not eventually get past the cervix and start to work on the uterus, tubes, or ovaries of the woman.
In this explanation, it now seems very logical as to why IUI is not only a poor choice due to low statistics of success, but also a very poor choice for the woman's health and the health of the baby. In bypassing the cervix altogether, IUI basically bypasses the natural filter for infected sperm. I will admit, there has been more than one occasion where DH and I have just said, "This is NUTS! Let's just do IUI!"- considering it the lesser of two evils (no destroyed embryos), and with the temptation very real after many failed months. But after reading this book I realize that not only would my IUI attempts have failed, but they would have made us WORSE off than we are now; and our children's health would also be compromised.
Dr. Toth also addresses how more than 70% of ART procedures fail, and that the ones that do succeed statistically result in lower birth weight, and a number of other health issues in both mother and child. He attributes this not to the way in which the children of ART are conceived, but the fact that the children are conceived in an unclean uterine environment, NOT free of infection. He (radically, I may add) urges all couples to try a thorough antibiotic treatment as a FIRST LINE of attack in cases on infertility, no matter what the next step may be.
Going back to the idea that these infections are both horizontally and VERTICALLY transmitted, it seems very likely that I contracted some pathogens in utero. The most telling sign of this is the fact that I went from having very regular periods to very irregular periods and signs on u/s of PCOS at age 19. All of this was before I was genitally active. The pathogens that I contracted, after many years, worked their way to my ovaries :( But now I finally am on the path to having this treated and corrected, for my fertility, my future overall health and the health of my DH, AND the health of every child I may bear in my womb from here on in. In many ways, it is a blessing that I have not conceived before this point. I know that God lead me to this Dr. and helped me to NOT conceive an unhealthy baby.
My only regret is that I didn't find Dr. Toth at age 19. If I had my infection healed at that age, who knows where life would find me now? But then again, given the chance, I don't think I would change anything about my life to date. Everything that I have been through has lead to more personal growth and acceptance. And if the course my life has taken is good enough for God, then it's good enough for me :)
**Apparently, you CAN read his book online!! The entire PDF file for his newest book is at the website: www.fertilitysolution.com (the same one I link to above on Dr. Toth's name). Check it out!!
The basic idea of Dr. Toth's theories, testing, and treatments is that pathogens can be passed through our systems both vertically (from mother to child in utero) and horizontally (between sexual partners). These pathogens can lead to all kinds of health issues in our future, and may start to display themselves earlier in our reproductive health. All of his theories just make PERFECT sense to me. The immune system of a woman, for example, shuts off within the reproductive organs during pregnancy- - which it has to do in order for her body not to reject this new life growing inside her. While her system shuts down, it becomes much easier for pathogens to invade her upper reproductive tract, hence infecting the baby and her. Oftentimes secondary IF is caused by this very fact. Evidence is shown, for example, when a woman begins to have severe PMS only AFTER the birth of her child. Or maybe her cycles become whacky AFTER birth, etc.
It's very interesting to me, too, to see how much of Dr. Toth's philosophy is exactly like the philosophy of NaPro Technology. Of course, he does still refer for IVF in some occasions, but NEVER before he gives nature a chance for itself (and usually only in cases where both fallopian tubes are blocked. Not that I'm condoning his referring for IVF, but at least this is better than the way most REs and ob/gyns do it.)
Here, for example, is a section of the book that speak to the treatment of IF as a symptom of an underlying disease:
"The standard, most widespread method of medically treating infertility is first to identify the problem that the patient or the patient's partner is experiencing, according to set criteria for diagnostic grouping. The next step is to work toward correcting or OVERRIDING it, again applying group-specific recommended treatment regimens.
What is wrong with this approach? Why does it so often fail to yield satisfactory results?
I believe that the fault usually lies not in the treatment phase but in the identification phase. Too many times doctors begin treating a problem as soon as they detect one, instead of investigating the problem more thoroughly to discover its ROOT CAUSE. In effect, they wind up organizing treatment around a symptom rather than the illness itself.
For example, suppose doctors discover that the male partner's sperm count is low. Proceeding on this information alone, thei will often make a concentrated solution of sperm and inject it directly into the female partner's uterus. The truth is that the low sperm count may be due to an infection. If so, artficial insemination is very likely to transmit that same infection into the woman's upper reproductive tract, where it can wreak even more havoc."
Earlier in the book, Dr. Toth explains that pathogens are very often the culprit of a number of health issues, and that infertility (in any diagnosis), is also usually due to the transmission of infectious bacteria between the spouses (horizontally) or from mother to child in utero (vertically). He explains that nature already has a very sophisticated process in place for filtering out and fighting these infections. Basically, there are two reproductive "tracts" in the woman's body: upper and lower, separated by the cervix. The cervix and its mucus act as a natural barrier to infections passed horizontally (through the seminal fluid), by preventing it from entering the upper tract. It does this by making the mucus "hostile" to sperm. If untreated infection persists along with intercourse between the infected partners, often times the man's sperm will also be affected, and decrease in count, morphology, or motility. Again, this is nature's way of ensuring that those infected sperm do not eventually get past the cervix and start to work on the uterus, tubes, or ovaries of the woman.
In this explanation, it now seems very logical as to why IUI is not only a poor choice due to low statistics of success, but also a very poor choice for the woman's health and the health of the baby. In bypassing the cervix altogether, IUI basically bypasses the natural filter for infected sperm. I will admit, there has been more than one occasion where DH and I have just said, "This is NUTS! Let's just do IUI!"- considering it the lesser of two evils (no destroyed embryos), and with the temptation very real after many failed months. But after reading this book I realize that not only would my IUI attempts have failed, but they would have made us WORSE off than we are now; and our children's health would also be compromised.
Dr. Toth also addresses how more than 70% of ART procedures fail, and that the ones that do succeed statistically result in lower birth weight, and a number of other health issues in both mother and child. He attributes this not to the way in which the children of ART are conceived, but the fact that the children are conceived in an unclean uterine environment, NOT free of infection. He (radically, I may add) urges all couples to try a thorough antibiotic treatment as a FIRST LINE of attack in cases on infertility, no matter what the next step may be.
Going back to the idea that these infections are both horizontally and VERTICALLY transmitted, it seems very likely that I contracted some pathogens in utero. The most telling sign of this is the fact that I went from having very regular periods to very irregular periods and signs on u/s of PCOS at age 19. All of this was before I was genitally active. The pathogens that I contracted, after many years, worked their way to my ovaries :( But now I finally am on the path to having this treated and corrected, for my fertility, my future overall health and the health of my DH, AND the health of every child I may bear in my womb from here on in. In many ways, it is a blessing that I have not conceived before this point. I know that God lead me to this Dr. and helped me to NOT conceive an unhealthy baby.
My only regret is that I didn't find Dr. Toth at age 19. If I had my infection healed at that age, who knows where life would find me now? But then again, given the chance, I don't think I would change anything about my life to date. Everything that I have been through has lead to more personal growth and acceptance. And if the course my life has taken is good enough for God, then it's good enough for me :)
**Apparently, you CAN read his book online!! The entire PDF file for his newest book is at the website: www.fertilitysolution.com (the same one I link to above on Dr. Toth's name). Check it out!!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Both Sides of the Fence
Just some random thoughts this morning, since I have nothing exciting going on with TTC.
It really blows my mind that someone who has dealt with IF, or even who is going through it now, can be pro-abortion. In a big way, I feel that this journey, for me, has made it all the clearer just how much conception is a miraculous event- not one that anyone is entitled to, but a gift from heaven. Going through this has solidified just how many things have to be PERFECTLY in place in order for a pregnancy to occur. So how could these facts escape another infertile??
The views on life in this society are just sickening sometimes. Life (in the form of an unwanted pregnancy) is viewed as a consequence of the mother's actions. Therefore, how dare anyone try to take away the "right" to get out of that consequence. Life is not a consequence! STDs and reputation may be consequences- but because a woman is stuck with those, it doesn't matter. She can't murder the STD she got from the man. She can't slaughter the reputation she gets after such an event. But the baby? THAT she has control over. THIS IS SO BACKWARDS!!!
Don't people who are TTC mourn the loss of what is ever-so-affectionately termed a "chemical pregnancy?" (Really, an early miscarriage.) If they don't feel that it is a life, why mourn? And those types of m/cs generally occur at 4 wks gestation... the time when most women headed for abortion are due for their AFs, not even THINKING about testing. Earliest abortions are usually about 2 wks after that, at 6 wks gestation. The time we are all waiting for with baited breath- because this is the date of most first u/ss. I just don't understand it.
Abortion is such a hidden epidemic. No one has to see it, therefore they can literally shut their eyes to what is ACTUALLY going on. And conveniently tell themselves that the baby can't feel anything. Why? Because God Help the country on the day it takes away a woman's RIGHTS! But wait... what about the other person's rights? The person who can't speak for or defend him/herself?
I'd like to pose an analogy, if I may (and yes, I've decided that I may, because this is my blog after all):
What if the government decided that Infertile women and men are unwanted in this country. All we do, after all, is suck dry the insurance companies with all of our testing, treatment and procedures. In the end? We're not giving anything back to society. We are unwanted. Useless. A waste of tax money, and air for that matter. Maybe it should be the RIGHT of our communities to eliminate us. Not murder, mind you, just a cessation of our breathing... and beating hearts... merely so that we can not continue to grow and become more and more of a burden. Ludicrous idea? Ask yourself why this is ludicrous, but murder of a baby (embryo, fetus, whatever you want to call it so it makes it less real) is so easy to accept.
On a related note, I got an email from Priests for Life, and there is a 40 Day Relay beginning in a town about 25 miles from me on Monday (at first I thought it was Sunday, but I went back and read the email)! I'm extremely nervous about it- I have never done one before, and frankly I'm terrified of seeing all the pg women walking in to kill their babies. But once again, All You Who Hope has been an inspiration to me, and even if one success story comes out of this, it will be worth it. Wish me luck!
It really blows my mind that someone who has dealt with IF, or even who is going through it now, can be pro-abortion. In a big way, I feel that this journey, for me, has made it all the clearer just how much conception is a miraculous event- not one that anyone is entitled to, but a gift from heaven. Going through this has solidified just how many things have to be PERFECTLY in place in order for a pregnancy to occur. So how could these facts escape another infertile??
The views on life in this society are just sickening sometimes. Life (in the form of an unwanted pregnancy) is viewed as a consequence of the mother's actions. Therefore, how dare anyone try to take away the "right" to get out of that consequence. Life is not a consequence! STDs and reputation may be consequences- but because a woman is stuck with those, it doesn't matter. She can't murder the STD she got from the man. She can't slaughter the reputation she gets after such an event. But the baby? THAT she has control over. THIS IS SO BACKWARDS!!!
Don't people who are TTC mourn the loss of what is ever-so-affectionately termed a "chemical pregnancy?" (Really, an early miscarriage.) If they don't feel that it is a life, why mourn? And those types of m/cs generally occur at 4 wks gestation... the time when most women headed for abortion are due for their AFs, not even THINKING about testing. Earliest abortions are usually about 2 wks after that, at 6 wks gestation. The time we are all waiting for with baited breath- because this is the date of most first u/ss. I just don't understand it.
Abortion is such a hidden epidemic. No one has to see it, therefore they can literally shut their eyes to what is ACTUALLY going on. And conveniently tell themselves that the baby can't feel anything. Why? Because God Help the country on the day it takes away a woman's RIGHTS! But wait... what about the other person's rights? The person who can't speak for or defend him/herself?
I'd like to pose an analogy, if I may (and yes, I've decided that I may, because this is my blog after all):
What if the government decided that Infertile women and men are unwanted in this country. All we do, after all, is suck dry the insurance companies with all of our testing, treatment and procedures. In the end? We're not giving anything back to society. We are unwanted. Useless. A waste of tax money, and air for that matter. Maybe it should be the RIGHT of our communities to eliminate us. Not murder, mind you, just a cessation of our breathing... and beating hearts... merely so that we can not continue to grow and become more and more of a burden. Ludicrous idea? Ask yourself why this is ludicrous, but murder of a baby (embryo, fetus, whatever you want to call it so it makes it less real) is so easy to accept.
On a related note, I got an email from Priests for Life, and there is a 40 Day Relay beginning in a town about 25 miles from me on Monday (at first I thought it was Sunday, but I went back and read the email)! I'm extremely nervous about it- I have never done one before, and frankly I'm terrified of seeing all the pg women walking in to kill their babies. But once again, All You Who Hope has been an inspiration to me, and even if one success story comes out of this, it will be worth it. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Antsy
So here I am again in the waiting stages of this TTC journey. I remember the months before my surgery, when I decided not to take Clomid (Feb and Mar '08), seemed to go SOOO very slowly. But at the same time, I was filled with eager anticipation at the prospect of being HEALED! And now? Here I am again.
I don't know what Dr. Toth's diagnoses will be for DH and me. I'm scared of finding out what it is that has been attacking my reproductive system. I'm scared that our course of treatment will be extensive, and costly. I'm scared that some of the treatments we may need may be painful. (Uterine washes, prostate injections.) But mostly I'm scared (and I'm jumping WAY ahead here) that whatever treatment course we follow will not work. If our infection/s have been working on us for years and years, there's a possibility that they will never "go away." What then?
It hasn't even been a week since my DA. I still have 2 1/2 weeks to go until I get the results. And then? Possibly 3 months of treatment, maybe more? I just don't know. I do know that we aren't allowed to TTC until after treatment ceases. Will I be able to TTC again this year? Before Christmas? It would be so sad if we couldn't :(
With all of the $$$ we're pouring out for this, we've decided it's best to just go forward with the Getting Pregnant plan (as opposed to the adoption plan) for now. We just can't feasibly start looking into an adoption process which will cost thousands, when we're also spending thousands on treatment for IF. I just hope our patience pays off in the end. I know that's not the point of patience. But I can't help but feel that God called us to this path, and steered us away from adoption right now. He must have done this for a reason, right?
I am not taking Femara this cycle. I figured what's the point? Why medicate if there's little to no chance of conceiving yet? I'll go back on, and pull out all the stops, as soon as we are able to TTC after treatment.
We're getting all cleaned up and ready for you, Baby! Our hopes for you are to be as healthy as you can be from conception to death- and never have to experience any of the pain of IF due to infections we could pass to you (if not treated). In a way, it's been a blessing that we have not conceived you yet. But we'll be ready for you... soon. Soon.
I don't know what Dr. Toth's diagnoses will be for DH and me. I'm scared of finding out what it is that has been attacking my reproductive system. I'm scared that our course of treatment will be extensive, and costly. I'm scared that some of the treatments we may need may be painful. (Uterine washes, prostate injections.) But mostly I'm scared (and I'm jumping WAY ahead here) that whatever treatment course we follow will not work. If our infection/s have been working on us for years and years, there's a possibility that they will never "go away." What then?
It hasn't even been a week since my DA. I still have 2 1/2 weeks to go until I get the results. And then? Possibly 3 months of treatment, maybe more? I just don't know. I do know that we aren't allowed to TTC until after treatment ceases. Will I be able to TTC again this year? Before Christmas? It would be so sad if we couldn't :(
With all of the $$$ we're pouring out for this, we've decided it's best to just go forward with the Getting Pregnant plan (as opposed to the adoption plan) for now. We just can't feasibly start looking into an adoption process which will cost thousands, when we're also spending thousands on treatment for IF. I just hope our patience pays off in the end. I know that's not the point of patience. But I can't help but feel that God called us to this path, and steered us away from adoption right now. He must have done this for a reason, right?
I am not taking Femara this cycle. I figured what's the point? Why medicate if there's little to no chance of conceiving yet? I'll go back on, and pull out all the stops, as soon as we are able to TTC after treatment.
We're getting all cleaned up and ready for you, Baby! Our hopes for you are to be as healthy as you can be from conception to death- and never have to experience any of the pain of IF due to infections we could pass to you (if not treated). In a way, it's been a blessing that we have not conceived you yet. But we'll be ready for you... soon. Soon.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
We're Back!
OK, so both DH and I are so tired and "violated" right now (his term, not mine... after all, I'm used to the dildo cam), I figured I will relax a bit before getting my stuff together for my On-Site tomorrow (eek)! And by relax, I mean go online and post a blog about what we've learned so far.
The entire DA was very informative and educational!! We got there early enough to peruse Dr. Toth's latest book, Fertile vs. Infertile, and it is REALLY interesting!! Of course, being a pathologist and an ob/gyn, it speaks primarily of infection, bateria, and pathogens and their role in infertility- - which is why we were referred in the 1st place. Apparently there is a vertical means of infection transfer (through parents/generations) and a horizontal (through sexual partners). And infections that do not necessarily fit the definition of an STD can also be transferred through intercourse, but since they don't do much organic damage, they are rarely tested for (until someone experience IF).
So while reading the first 2 chapters of this book, DH was called in to give a semen sample. I really, really hated this, and wish I had known beforehand. The more I thought of it the more it made sense that the Dr would need one, but I didn't think it would have to be today. So, of course, being put on the spot, there really was no alternative method of collection in line with our beliefs. But DH was a trooper, and managed to get the job done. When he was finished, we were both called in to the office to go over medical history. This took about one whole hour. All kinds of questions that no one had ever asked us before, related to our nuclear families' pregnancies, births, etc. and our extended families' illnesses. Of course, also specifics about our TTC history, diagnoses, lab results, etc. During this hour, he also had us both take a look at a sample of DH's semen under the microscope. He immediately made a comment that put me at ease about DH's morphology: "WOW!! Look how many there are! With a count like this, it doesn't matter if 90% of them are amorphous, there are still PLENTY to get the job done!" Sure enough, there were more sperm swimming around in that sample than there were empty areas :) Shortly after (maybe 10 mins or so), the Dr looked at the sample again and asked me to come give him a "second opinion" on something. (He was quite the jokester, this Dr.) He wanted me to tell him what I saw, in laymen's terms. I looked and saw a cluster of sperm right in the middle of the slide. He said that this could be a sign of the sperm fighting against certain bacteria, like antibodies, that have formed in the semen as a defense against the infections. ((This was pretty scary at first to hear, because a) I didn't know if this could be fixed, and b) I wondered if this was our problem all along and no other SA could tell us that, which would have made me MAD!)) It turned out, after an hour, the slide showed only that small portion of clumping still, so he said there were millions of other sperm doing the right thing and that it didn't seem to be a case of antibodies. Phew!!
Then DH and I went into separate exam rooms to get some swab samples and u/ss. Poor DH :( I don't think he believed me when I told him he'd be getting an u/s. In his u/s, there was evidence of a slightly enlarged prostate, with areas of "infection" in various spots. (Any areas of gleaming white were areas of calcification, as it was explained to us. We could literally see it in the pictures!) There were also some areas of "white" infection along the ureter.
In me, the white was mainly concentrated ALL along the cervical canal. As I started to read in his book, the cervix is the first line of attack on infection entering the body through intercourse, so it probably started working overtime until it couldn't handle it anymore... and now it's full of the pathogens. There were areas around my ovaries, too. The good news is, when he poked around at the ovaries, they moved easily, showing good evidence of no major adhesions left from my surgery :) Thank GOD! Oh, and when he was taking swabs from my cervix, he apparently also had to take one from the uterus. He asked me if I knew which way my uterus flipped, and I said, "Uh, yeah. Anteverted I believe." Then he said, "you'll feel some cramping," and O.M.G. did I ever feel some cramping. Just HTH he got a swab from my uterus, through my cervix, is beyond me. But it hurt like a mother afterwards!
So after our exams, we went back to his office to discuss the findings. We looked at the pictures from the u/ss and he pointed out all the white spots. He then hypothesized how each of us may have come to get our infections, going back to our vertical lineage and then horizontal. Perhaps the most interesting part for me was hearing about the extent of my infection and its effects. Since I had started having signs and symptoms of PCOS before I was genitally active, it seems likely to the Dr that I have inherited the infection vertically first. After years of the infection not being "treated," it made its way up, up, up my reproductive tract and eventually attacked my ovaries. After that, my ovaries stopped communicating with my pituitary gland, and started pumping out eggs (not releasing them, mind you, just pumping out the follicles- PCOS), regardless of what the pituitary was telling it to do. So finally, I have some rhyme or reason to the background of my PCOS, which never made sense to me before!!
The Dr also said that while my ovarian wedge resection has restored ovarian function FOR NOW, if I had this infection go untreated, than it would inevitably attack the ovaries once again and I'd go right back to anovulation, excess androgens, etc. etc.
So we will have the results of the testing within 3 weeks time, at which point he will know exactly what course of treatment to go with. It could be a more extensive line of treatment if the infection itself has been brewing for many years. (DH asked me afterwards, "Did he mean extensive or expensive?" I said, "I'm sure with one comes the other!") Going back again to something I read in his book (those first few chapters were really informative!!), if a line of antibiotics is discontinued too early, it only heals the infection on one level, but not all levels. And eventually, it takes over once again.
Sooooo... that is our DA in a nutshell. (No, this is my DA in a nutshell: "Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get in this nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut this big?!")
Then we had a lovely dinner of ALMOST authentic Italian pizza, followed by a little treat for me from La Maison du Chocolat, and 2 macchiatos from the cafe next door. All in all, a productive day.
Oh, and the Dr's office asked for a copy of my insurance card- - they will be submitting the claims to them for me! Thank goodness! For some reason I think insurance co's take Dr's offices more seriously when entering claims than when it comes from the patient. Plus, they don't code it as IF work-up, but infection/bacteria work-up. So far, those prayers are workin'! Keep 'em coming!
The entire DA was very informative and educational!! We got there early enough to peruse Dr. Toth's latest book, Fertile vs. Infertile, and it is REALLY interesting!! Of course, being a pathologist and an ob/gyn, it speaks primarily of infection, bateria, and pathogens and their role in infertility- - which is why we were referred in the 1st place. Apparently there is a vertical means of infection transfer (through parents/generations) and a horizontal (through sexual partners). And infections that do not necessarily fit the definition of an STD can also be transferred through intercourse, but since they don't do much organic damage, they are rarely tested for (until someone experience IF).
So while reading the first 2 chapters of this book, DH was called in to give a semen sample. I really, really hated this, and wish I had known beforehand. The more I thought of it the more it made sense that the Dr would need one, but I didn't think it would have to be today. So, of course, being put on the spot, there really was no alternative method of collection in line with our beliefs. But DH was a trooper, and managed to get the job done. When he was finished, we were both called in to the office to go over medical history. This took about one whole hour. All kinds of questions that no one had ever asked us before, related to our nuclear families' pregnancies, births, etc. and our extended families' illnesses. Of course, also specifics about our TTC history, diagnoses, lab results, etc. During this hour, he also had us both take a look at a sample of DH's semen under the microscope. He immediately made a comment that put me at ease about DH's morphology: "WOW!! Look how many there are! With a count like this, it doesn't matter if 90% of them are amorphous, there are still PLENTY to get the job done!" Sure enough, there were more sperm swimming around in that sample than there were empty areas :) Shortly after (maybe 10 mins or so), the Dr looked at the sample again and asked me to come give him a "second opinion" on something. (He was quite the jokester, this Dr.) He wanted me to tell him what I saw, in laymen's terms. I looked and saw a cluster of sperm right in the middle of the slide. He said that this could be a sign of the sperm fighting against certain bacteria, like antibodies, that have formed in the semen as a defense against the infections. ((This was pretty scary at first to hear, because a) I didn't know if this could be fixed, and b) I wondered if this was our problem all along and no other SA could tell us that, which would have made me MAD!)) It turned out, after an hour, the slide showed only that small portion of clumping still, so he said there were millions of other sperm doing the right thing and that it didn't seem to be a case of antibodies. Phew!!
Then DH and I went into separate exam rooms to get some swab samples and u/ss. Poor DH :( I don't think he believed me when I told him he'd be getting an u/s. In his u/s, there was evidence of a slightly enlarged prostate, with areas of "infection" in various spots. (Any areas of gleaming white were areas of calcification, as it was explained to us. We could literally see it in the pictures!) There were also some areas of "white" infection along the ureter.
In me, the white was mainly concentrated ALL along the cervical canal. As I started to read in his book, the cervix is the first line of attack on infection entering the body through intercourse, so it probably started working overtime until it couldn't handle it anymore... and now it's full of the pathogens. There were areas around my ovaries, too. The good news is, when he poked around at the ovaries, they moved easily, showing good evidence of no major adhesions left from my surgery :) Thank GOD! Oh, and when he was taking swabs from my cervix, he apparently also had to take one from the uterus. He asked me if I knew which way my uterus flipped, and I said, "Uh, yeah. Anteverted I believe." Then he said, "you'll feel some cramping," and O.M.G. did I ever feel some cramping. Just HTH he got a swab from my uterus, through my cervix, is beyond me. But it hurt like a mother afterwards!
So after our exams, we went back to his office to discuss the findings. We looked at the pictures from the u/ss and he pointed out all the white spots. He then hypothesized how each of us may have come to get our infections, going back to our vertical lineage and then horizontal. Perhaps the most interesting part for me was hearing about the extent of my infection and its effects. Since I had started having signs and symptoms of PCOS before I was genitally active, it seems likely to the Dr that I have inherited the infection vertically first. After years of the infection not being "treated," it made its way up, up, up my reproductive tract and eventually attacked my ovaries. After that, my ovaries stopped communicating with my pituitary gland, and started pumping out eggs (not releasing them, mind you, just pumping out the follicles- PCOS), regardless of what the pituitary was telling it to do. So finally, I have some rhyme or reason to the background of my PCOS, which never made sense to me before!!
The Dr also said that while my ovarian wedge resection has restored ovarian function FOR NOW, if I had this infection go untreated, than it would inevitably attack the ovaries once again and I'd go right back to anovulation, excess androgens, etc. etc.
So we will have the results of the testing within 3 weeks time, at which point he will know exactly what course of treatment to go with. It could be a more extensive line of treatment if the infection itself has been brewing for many years. (DH asked me afterwards, "Did he mean extensive or expensive?" I said, "I'm sure with one comes the other!") Going back again to something I read in his book (those first few chapters were really informative!!), if a line of antibiotics is discontinued too early, it only heals the infection on one level, but not all levels. And eventually, it takes over once again.
Sooooo... that is our DA in a nutshell. (No, this is my DA in a nutshell: "Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get in this nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut this big?!")
Then we had a lovely dinner of ALMOST authentic Italian pizza, followed by a little treat for me from La Maison du Chocolat, and 2 macchiatos from the cafe next door. All in all, a productive day.
Oh, and the Dr's office asked for a copy of my insurance card- - they will be submitting the claims to them for me! Thank goodness! For some reason I think insurance co's take Dr's offices more seriously when entering claims than when it comes from the patient. Plus, they don't code it as IF work-up, but infection/bacteria work-up. So far, those prayers are workin'! Keep 'em coming!
Bad PMS
Man, do I have a bad case this time. I have been SUPER-hormonal all day today. Granted, my dog puking 3 times on the carpet, leaving 3 separate yellow stains that I CANNOT get out with Resolve did not get me off on the right foot. But even I can recognize that screaming/crying "Why me??!!," sobbing on my hands and knees, is not my normal puke clean-up behavior. Then I would start randomly bursting into tears on the couch watching tv, just thinking of how horrible my life is. (Yeah, I know, it's really not all that horrible.) PMS bites the big one.
Also, AF was due today. I'm not technically late, because my post-Peak phases range from 12-14 ever since surgery. But today IS P+14, and 14dpo. Please don't get me wrong, I am not in any way implying that I have a chance in hell of pregnancy. 1st off, I know now that I need to be treated for infection before I really have a chance. 2nd, we used ONE day this cycle, and my cm was gummy throughout the mucus cycle. Not a chance. The reason I bring up being later than expected, however, is because my DA with Dr. Toth is tomorrow. It just figures I'd have to waste an hpt tomorrow morning before the DA... not to mention starting AF at any moment during the day, and most likely during the most inopportune moment (like a transvaginal u/s). Grrrr, I hate AF.
I must say, AF aside, I am really excited about tomorrow. I know DH isn't, since he does not like being poked and prodded and swabbed... but like I told him, he's gonna have to deal. I had entire wedges cut out of my ovaries, after all. The least he can do is get a swab sample! I really believe that tomorrow is going to lead us to our complete restoration of fertility. It's just so nice to think about: Restored Fertility! No more tail-end brown bleeding! No more low morphology (perhaps. I dream big.)
We'll most likely stay in NYC for dinner tomorrow after the DA. We don't go too often, anyway, and it will be nice to treat ourselves after spending a buttload on these tests. Then this weekend I have my On-Site Visit for my Creighton Model Practitioner training... for which I still need to prepare!! So excuse me in advance if I don't get to update you on the DA before Sunday. If I can, I'll try to fill you in briefly before then.
I hope I follow in the footsteps of all of the other great DAs all of you ladies have been having! Wish me luck!
Also, AF was due today. I'm not technically late, because my post-Peak phases range from 12-14 ever since surgery. But today IS P+14, and 14dpo. Please don't get me wrong, I am not in any way implying that I have a chance in hell of pregnancy. 1st off, I know now that I need to be treated for infection before I really have a chance. 2nd, we used ONE day this cycle, and my cm was gummy throughout the mucus cycle. Not a chance. The reason I bring up being later than expected, however, is because my DA with Dr. Toth is tomorrow. It just figures I'd have to waste an hpt tomorrow morning before the DA... not to mention starting AF at any moment during the day, and most likely during the most inopportune moment (like a transvaginal u/s). Grrrr, I hate AF.
I must say, AF aside, I am really excited about tomorrow. I know DH isn't, since he does not like being poked and prodded and swabbed... but like I told him, he's gonna have to deal. I had entire wedges cut out of my ovaries, after all. The least he can do is get a swab sample! I really believe that tomorrow is going to lead us to our complete restoration of fertility. It's just so nice to think about: Restored Fertility! No more tail-end brown bleeding! No more low morphology (perhaps. I dream big.)
We'll most likely stay in NYC for dinner tomorrow after the DA. We don't go too often, anyway, and it will be nice to treat ourselves after spending a buttload on these tests. Then this weekend I have my On-Site Visit for my Creighton Model Practitioner training... for which I still need to prepare!! So excuse me in advance if I don't get to update you on the DA before Sunday. If I can, I'll try to fill you in briefly before then.
I hope I follow in the footsteps of all of the other great DAs all of you ladies have been having! Wish me luck!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Empty Nest :(
Well, all but 1 of the kittens have gone off to their new homes, and we are left with our precious little Simba. We knew as soon as we took him into our home the 1st time that he was confortable, and would be fine without any "siblings" from his litter. This is where he went RIGHT off the bat:
Oh yeah, he's gonna fit right in.
The first pair to leave us was Laci and Callie (their new names. For us, they were Ophelia and Nala), the two tortoise girls. Callie (Nala) was my little princess, and I was so sad to see her go :( But they went to my parents, so I'll still get to enjoy them from time to time. Here they are, respectively:
Then the following day we were left with the 3 rambunctious boys, Itchy, Scratchy, and Simba. Itchy is the other orange guy, and Scratchy is the black beauty. Before he left, I needed him to be a model for my Halloween card this year, and he was such a good sport :)
That night, Itchy and Scratchy left us :( They went to DH's sister and her bf, so again, we'll be able to watch them grow up at least.
Here is the whole gang together, on the first day I put a litter box in their tub. I came back a couple of hours later, and this is what I found:
And here is Simba's (our new "baby's") first poop:
(I have one of the finished product, too, but I'll leave that out.)
And here are some "introductions" of Simba to our other furbabies. Here he is with Uzi, our Alpha Male:
Here is Quincy, our youngest (until now), looking at him intensely... he's a little afraid of the kitten, honestly. So I couldn't get one of them in the same frame!
And here is Jerry, mamma's boy, on the back of the loveseat with Simba (Simba had kicked him off of his cushy little blanket that he always sleeps on!):
And since I'm posting pics, might as well show you the remaining 3 furbabies in our family. We have Althea (Al), Big River (Bigs), and Mrs. Chinch. Here they are!
I hope you've enjoyed our family tree :)
Oh yeah, he's gonna fit right in.
The first pair to leave us was Laci and Callie (their new names. For us, they were Ophelia and Nala), the two tortoise girls. Callie (Nala) was my little princess, and I was so sad to see her go :( But they went to my parents, so I'll still get to enjoy them from time to time. Here they are, respectively:
Then the following day we were left with the 3 rambunctious boys, Itchy, Scratchy, and Simba. Itchy is the other orange guy, and Scratchy is the black beauty. Before he left, I needed him to be a model for my Halloween card this year, and he was such a good sport :)
That night, Itchy and Scratchy left us :( They went to DH's sister and her bf, so again, we'll be able to watch them grow up at least.
Here is the whole gang together, on the first day I put a litter box in their tub. I came back a couple of hours later, and this is what I found:
And here is Simba's (our new "baby's") first poop:
(I have one of the finished product, too, but I'll leave that out.)
And here are some "introductions" of Simba to our other furbabies. Here he is with Uzi, our Alpha Male:
Here is Quincy, our youngest (until now), looking at him intensely... he's a little afraid of the kitten, honestly. So I couldn't get one of them in the same frame!
And here is Jerry, mamma's boy, on the back of the loveseat with Simba (Simba had kicked him off of his cushy little blanket that he always sleeps on!):
And since I'm posting pics, might as well show you the remaining 3 furbabies in our family. We have Althea (Al), Big River (Bigs), and Mrs. Chinch. Here they are!
I hope you've enjoyed our family tree :)
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
DA next week
Here's the update on Dr. Toth in NY. (I was being all secretive with the name for some reason, but he's actually really well known and has written books on his research.)
I called his office Monday morning, and the secretary tells me right off the bat "He doesn't accept insurance, and all payment is due in full at the 1st appt." Hm, ok. So how much is it? "$1800 to run all of the tests." Yowsa. So, that includes all of the tests for infection, etc. that affect fertility? "Oh is this for infertility? Then he recommends you have DH get tested, too. That's $1500." Yikes! Um, sure let me make an appt with you on robot-mode as my mind recuperates from the shock "($3,300)... Oct 9th?($3,300) Yeah, ok ($3,300), that'll work... uh huh ($3,300)." Click. Hold on, WHAT??!!
I spoke with DH and he was definitely against getting tested. He thought there was no need since we already know his issue is morphology, but not anything bad enough to impede pregnancy. Plus, he was just on a week's dose of antibiotics for an infection, so he's "all good." I kept telling him that we wouldn't be walking into Dr. Toth's office, paying $3,300, getting some blood drawn, and sent on our way. I assured him there must be more to it than that; cultures, biopsies, etc. Then again, I wasn't sure if DH really did need to do this RIGHT NOW, since we knew that I was the one with the symptoms of infection. I decide to call Dr. Hilgers' nurses and see what he recommended.
They got back to me a day later to say that yes, he does prefer we both get checked out with Dr. Toth. Infections of this nature can be passed back and forth, apparently. So, basically, we have no choice but to shell out... $3,300.
I can't put a pricetag on my baby. Or, for that matter, on my fertility. Is it worth $3,300? Absolutely. But what comes next? I can only imagine (in nightmares, mostly) how much treatment will cost if this is how much the testing costs! And then what if we run out of savings? I really have to pray that God provides for us this month. It helps to remember how concerned we were about the surgery costs in April, and then only had to pay just under $1,400 TOTAL (for a surgery that ran $22,000, with insurance of $2,500 ded. and 20% above ded)!! God TRULY provided for us then, and I really hope He shows us a way to make this work now.
I know it's such a trivial thing to pray about, but would you please keep us in your prayers for this situation? Pray that we find some way to afford treatment after the testing is done. Jesus, I trust You :)
I called his office Monday morning, and the secretary tells me right off the bat "He doesn't accept insurance, and all payment is due in full at the 1st appt." Hm, ok. So how much is it? "$1800 to run all of the tests." Yowsa. So, that includes all of the tests for infection, etc. that affect fertility? "Oh is this for infertility? Then he recommends you have DH get tested, too. That's $1500." Yikes! Um, sure let me make an appt with you on robot-mode as my mind recuperates from the shock "($3,300)... Oct 9th?($3,300) Yeah, ok ($3,300), that'll work... uh huh ($3,300)." Click. Hold on, WHAT??!!
I spoke with DH and he was definitely against getting tested. He thought there was no need since we already know his issue is morphology, but not anything bad enough to impede pregnancy. Plus, he was just on a week's dose of antibiotics for an infection, so he's "all good." I kept telling him that we wouldn't be walking into Dr. Toth's office, paying $3,300, getting some blood drawn, and sent on our way. I assured him there must be more to it than that; cultures, biopsies, etc. Then again, I wasn't sure if DH really did need to do this RIGHT NOW, since we knew that I was the one with the symptoms of infection. I decide to call Dr. Hilgers' nurses and see what he recommended.
They got back to me a day later to say that yes, he does prefer we both get checked out with Dr. Toth. Infections of this nature can be passed back and forth, apparently. So, basically, we have no choice but to shell out... $3,300.
I can't put a pricetag on my baby. Or, for that matter, on my fertility. Is it worth $3,300? Absolutely. But what comes next? I can only imagine (in nightmares, mostly) how much treatment will cost if this is how much the testing costs! And then what if we run out of savings? I really have to pray that God provides for us this month. It helps to remember how concerned we were about the surgery costs in April, and then only had to pay just under $1,400 TOTAL (for a surgery that ran $22,000, with insurance of $2,500 ded. and 20% above ded)!! God TRULY provided for us then, and I really hope He shows us a way to make this work now.
I know it's such a trivial thing to pray about, but would you please keep us in your prayers for this situation? Pray that we find some way to afford treatment after the testing is done. Jesus, I trust You :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)