DH and I are throwing our annual Christmas Cocktail Party on Saturday. The house is "almost" in order (just don't look in the closets or the master bedroom).
We have been doing this party since the 1st year we were married, so this is our 3rd one. Every other year, I served drinks but didn't drink since I was in the 2WW. This year I could FINALLY enjoy some drinks with my friends...
But while talking to my good friends who have 2 young boys (they usually get a babysitter for the party), DH suggested we throw the party at the firehouse so we could have more people. My girlfriend jumped right in with, "Oh that'd be great, then the kids could come and run around, and we can come early to help set up." It was a nice offer, but at the same time, I felt kinda coerced into inviting the kids. Not that they WEREN'T invited beforehand, but it IS a cocktail party...
Turns out the firehouse is booked that night. But in the meantime, I went ahead and invited my other friends who have 3 kids (1 5 yr old and twin 3 yr olds). They are coming. So, now I've been going around the house like a madwoman making sure everything is "kid-proofed." I'm happy to do it, but at the same time, somewhere in the back of my mind I was a little resentful. Like, why should I have to child-proof my house and make special foods for the kids when I can't have my own kids and do those things for them yet? It's a horrible, selfish thought, I know, but I'm just being honest.
Then I just checked the evite again to see there was a new RSVP. Well, my 1 single sister changed her Yes to a No, saying, "Sorry, since I haven't pushed anything out of my body which became a tiny human running around touching everything, I'd rather not be at this kind of festivity." Ummmm... great! Now my Cocktail Party has become 1 Sad, Infertile Drunk Woman (me), and a bunch of children with their sober, fertile parents. WTH??? How did this happen??
I'm sure we'll still have a lot of fun, but dammit, Christmas is hard enough without being constantly reminded that I DO NOT have children. I also feel pressured to put my dogs next door, so that they don't knock down any of the younger kids or lick them to death. But THEY are MY children!! Why should I have to hide them away? KWIM?
Man, this sucks. Um, if any of you are going to be around NJ this weekend, feel free to come have some infertile drinks with me. I'm making pomegranate martinis, and so far, I'm the only taker.