Wednesday, November 12, 2008

If Infertility Can't Kill Me Emotionally, it will Kill Me Physically

Today is NOT my best of days. Another nurse had to come out to the house today to try again to get the mid-line catheter in (apparently the one the 1st nurse put in is not a mid-line, but a smaller peripheral line which needs to be changed every few days. This, for some reason, is against the home health agency's policy).

So, the nurse (Robert) showed up at 6:30, after giving me explicit instructions over the phone last night to drink tons of water and put a heating pad on my left arm for an hr before he got there. I, the ever-dutiful student, did as I was told. (Robert also said he's been doing this 30 years, and basically implied that he would not only get the line in my "small" veins, but get it in 1-2-3.)

He took great care to prep me, get all of the materials he needed in gear, etc. etc. Then he told me that the mid-line is a bit larger than most needles I'm used to, so it would prick a little more than usual. I pointed him to the vein on the corner that is always used for blood draws, and he said he would try the larger one in the middle first (that should have been my first clue). First Owie- needle goes in. Next Owie, needle pokes around all over the place sticking veins, arteries, and muscle. After about 7 minutes (no, I shit you not), he takes the needle out (Third Owie). "I'll try the smaller vein on the corner." Ya think?

Needle goes in again. Owie again. Needle pokes around, more violently and determined this time. I see out of the corner of my eyes (since I refused to look down at my arm) that Robert has sweat beads trickling all down his forehead over his mask. Niiiiice. Needle keeps poking. Owie. Owie. Owie. Finally the poking stops. I hear the sound of a tiny container opening near my arm- Alright! That must be the saline, which means the needle is in! Then I feel it trickle down my elbow. Oops, he must have spilled. Needle comes out. Huh? "That didn't go in?" "Nope, I thought I had it for a second." "I felt a trickle, what was that blood?" (Haha, as if it was blood!) "Yup."

And then I look down to see the massacre that has taken place on my poor left arm. Blood was EVERYWHERE! Damn! And just as I'm ready to sit up and go run for an ice pack, I see Robert opening another needle...

"I'm gonna get this sucker," he says, or something along those lines.

Are you freaking kidding me????? Oh but I assure you, he was not freaking kidding me.

Alcohol swab all over my bloodied, punctured arm. OWIE. Beta-iodine all over my punctured arm. OWIE. And in goes the needle for one more attack, this time in my already severely butchered and bruised arm. OWIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! At this point my face is in such obvious, tortuous pain, that DH started saying, "Hon, just say something if you want to stop, you don't have to do this." "Um," (I stagger), "ye-e-eah, if th-ii-is could be our lll-ast attempt, mayb-b-e?" "Yup," says Robert, still hell-bent on proving that he is the World's Very Best Mid-Line Catheter Inserter. Or maybe he's just a sadist. My vote is for the latter.

At this point, my veins have completely collapsed and hidden from this guy's wrath (can you blame them??)- they were probably somewhere in my legs or something. So 5 minutes later, out comes needle, and out spews blood all over the place.

And here I sit with a huge, bloody gauze pad and ice pack wrapped around my mutilated appendage. OW. IE.

Like I said, not my best of days.

13 comments:

JellyBelly said...

i really don't know why so many nurses are so bad at getting at veins. the last time i was in the hospital (for ruptured ovarian cyst #2) the nurse butchered my hand trying to get a vein and i have REALLY good veins.

but you're right, between all of the needles, dildo cams, peeks at my cervix and swabs i think that i may lose my mind sooner, rather than later.

big, big, pain-free hugs to you!

Vent-ilation said...

Between your day and Sew Infertile's, I'm sitting at my desk cringing, with my mouth dropped open. Yikes!!!

Life In Mazes said...

I cannot even imagine how much courage you have and I have no doubt that there are many great days on the horizon. I will definitely keep you and your husband in my prayers, as well as your future children.

allyouwhohope said...

Let me just say first of all, that despite the day you've had and the pain you must be in, that was an incredible post! I felt like I was there.

That being said, I am SOOOO sorry you are having to go through all this! I'll pray special for you tonight.

Beth said...

UUUGGGHHH!! I'm so sorry!

I have awful veins, so I can kind of feel your pain. They usually stick me about 6 times, poking around each time, and then send me down to the lab, where the lady who calls herself "Big Mama" gets me on the first try. Sigh.

KateB said...

Reading that made me queasy. I had that happen once for a about a minute and that was more than enough for me. You have some real determination to endure that three times.

LifeHopes said...

Oh.my.gosh. Does this guy think your a pin cushion? For the love!!!! You are way stronger than me. I am SO sorry about this!

Faithful Infertile said...

eeeeehhhh... i am so sorry you are having to go through this. but someday i'll tell you children, "do you know what your mother went through to get you?!?" hopefully the worst is behind you. i just HATE those people that think of your veins as a "challenge" and forget there is a person sitting there! but just think...one step closer!

Sew Infertile said...

Definately reschedule the follow up. I am thinkingi n a couple of weeks....Once I start getting back on my feet. :O

Sew Infertile said...

Definately reschedule the follow up. I am thinkingi n a couple of weeks....Once I start getting back on my feet. :O

Sew Infertile said...

Don't you think it's funny that my creighton dr. and I are both going through CrMS traning together. And my CRMS instructor (you) duh, are both going through treatments together! And if I am not mistaken you can't start trying until Feb something either?! Pretty Crazy!!!

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

I'm not sure I can even start in February. I'll know more at our follow-up on Friday, but I may be out for a while... in some cases he recommends 9 months off after all oral antibiotics- which would be 1 yr from now :(

Hillary said...

Got to this post through the Creme de le Creme list. I felt like I was right there with you, it is very well written! (Although what an experience to be right there with you in -- ouch!). Sorry that was so painful!!
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