Friday, August 1, 2008

Mucus

Yummy, doesn't that title just work up an appetite? (Ew.)

So I've been concerned about the quality of my mucus this cycle... gummy, stretchy on the 1st stretch, but then just kinda balls up... not at all the beautiful CM I'm used to. We decided to BD last night, and I thought, ok I'll just use some Pre-Seed. Open drawer- NO!! We're out of Pre-Seed :( So I ran in the other room, popped a Mucinex, and then used an Instead Cup after BD. This morning, voila! My normal, beautiful crystal clear, stretchy CM :)

And since this was the first BD of the season (yes, I just called it a season... we're so conditioned to use only fertile days, that's it's like the off-season during the infertile times. Poor DH.), it wouldn't have been complete without a dramatic "almost ruin the whole thing" episode on my part. I completely stressed out, started crying, and then started cursing myself for always doing this. The pressure was just insane. We talked about it, and I explained to DH that I just felt like my body continues to fail me, and that there's no point to BDing anymore. Sex was designed for a reason, and since I'm all sorts of screwed up, and can't perform the seemingly simple task of getting pregnant, I just felt like why should I even bother trying? Then I got mad and started rattling off all the types of people who get pregnant so easily, not only when they're not trying, but when they're intentionally trying NOT to! How is it that women get pregnant with condoms, IUDs, and on the pill, will someone explain this to me?? Here I am doing everything in my power to get sperm to meet egg - - and these women somehow defy science and nature with their super-fertility.

Well, we sat up and talked and I cried for a little while... then finally, somehow the pressure was relieved, and we BDd :) Now I can only hope that my little episode just helped the Mucinex to kick in in time!

2 comments:

Hafsa said...

Yes! Finally someone who understands the insanity of it all. When I'm in my darkest moods, I complain (through my tears) to my husband about how easy it is for so many other women to conceive. My gripe is the celebs of the world who effortlessly conceive and then walk around proudly as if it's nothing. Also my SIL is expecting her second, one of my girlfriends is on her second and another one just got pregnant on her honeymoon! I can say however that I am not jealous just disappointed in my own body failing me.

I have read about trying mucinex to achieve quality CM, so I'll have to try that.

Jodi said...

We'd end up driving ourselves insane if we questioned why it is that those who try to NOT get pg end up getting pg :( I guess it goes to show that God has plans for us that don't always make sense and defy science. That's why we should trust in God 100% and science only 50%...at least that's my opinion.