Thursday, August 14, 2008

Futile Efforts

I suppose when you're the type of girl, like each of us, who despite all of your achievements in life, still feels empty inside because you can't do the one thing you want most in the world, then any efforts you make at preparing for another failed cycle are just futile. I'm having horrible PMS symptoms this cycle (the same as always, but stronger), and it just makes me mad that I have to go through the insomnia at night, extreme fatigue during the day, sore breasts, etc. with no reward at the end of it.

Obviously I'm thankful for the progesterone that is causing all of these symptoms, since I never even had my own progesterone before being treated with NaPro. Plus, if I remained untreated for anovulation and PCOS, with all of the unopposed estrogen stimulation in my body, I would have been at risk for breast cancer in my future. So, yay for progesterone. But why is it that we have to physically feel our worst when we are emotionally feeling our worst at the end of another failed cycle?

Today is P+13, and (in my estimation) 12dpo. By my calculations, I should get AF tomorrow, on August 15th. The Assumption. The date of our renewal Consecration to Mary. 4 days before my 2nd Wedding Anniversary. Depressing.

To end on a sillier note, DH and I were watching the Olympics the other night, and ever since we've been talking more about adoption, we've been exploring domestic vs. foreign adoption options. So, while watching the Chinese women's gymnastics team (who are rumored to be underage, btw- I would have to agree with Bela Karolyi on that one, did you see those girls??), DH goes, "Ohhhh! I want to adopt a little Chinese gymnast!" So I guess we'll be adopting a Chinese baby girl in our future, and enrolling her in gymnastics at the ripe age of 1 1/2 :)

5 comments:

LifeHopes said...

That is funny what your husband said about the Chinese gymnasts.

But seriously, there really is something captivating about the Chinese (I married one:) he he).

We too are interested in adopting Asian ...

I am still hoping and praying that your dream will come true tomorrow.

JellyBelly said...

the joys of progesterone! when i first started my progesterone therapy i felt horrible! unfortunately taking it orally didn't help lengthen my luteal phase so i'm moving on to injections this cycle.

i've toyed with adopting internationally as well. we were out with friends last week and one of the girls mentioned that her parents were thinking of adopting a child that was orphaned in the earthquake in child. she said, "they're practically giving them away!" since i'm asian and my hubby is white the kid could probably look like me!

KateB said...

I've been reading through your posts. I want to thank you for writing about your experiences with Napro, Creighton Model, and, especially, Dr. Stegman and the surgery. I'm scheduled for a Laparoscopy/Selective HSG/Hysteroscopy with him in a little over 3 weeks. To say that I'm nervous about it is a serious understatement. It's good to hear someone else went through the same thing and got through it.

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

Kate, you'll be in excellent hands with Dr Stegman! I'm glad you found my blog... I didn't find any NaPro blogs until after my surgery- I was just as nervous as you, but I couldn't be happier with the results of the surgery. If you have any other questions before or after surgery, please feel free to contact me!
GL, you'll be in my prayers in the next 3 wks :)

KateB said...

This Cross, I'll take you up on that. Nothing I've read explains what really happens between the time you arrive for surgery and the surgery itself. And I'm curious about how it went with Dr. Stegman. And what happened directly after? How long did it all take? Too many questions. If you'd like, you can email my Yahoo address, cassybuela.