Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Absence

I've noticed that I haven't posted too much recently. I'm trying to figure out if it's because I'm just bored, or I'm just not miserable for a change. Usually I'll post when something's on my mind, and most times I'm upset about the infertility. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm suddenly and miraculously at peace with my infertility- far from it. But I just haven't really had anything to vent about.

As far as a cycle update, I am on CD 12 today. I'm expecting Peak Day around CD 16 (which is where it was the last 2 cycles). I've had Peak Type mucus today and yesterday, though it was mixed with some brown spotting (anyone else hate "leftovers" as much as I do?) and it wasn't the best quality (sorta gummy, and not crystal clear). I've decided to hold off and wait until I see crystal clear mucus for our 1st BD this time... one thing we definitely have on our side is DH's count. Especially when he abstains for a long time (like now), his count is through the roof! Don't get jealous just yet... we always joke that he has millions of sperm, but they're all retarded (they're not really all retarded). I say they all get in there, start swimming really fast (he has great motility, too), but then all turn to each other and go, "Duuuuuh... which way do we go??"

So I figure the first batch will be the largest quantity, and a few good ones are bound to get through. Then after that, we'll just try to BD as often as possible! (Frequent BDing is supposedly good for morphology.) Like I said in a previous post, embracing my cross doesn't mean I have to give up. I'm still going to do everything in my power to conceive. The big test will be letting it go after I've done all that I can. And that's just what I plan to do.

Oh, and I was just reading to DH the story of St. Anne and Joachim, whose Feast Day was July 26... and I said, "Well, St. Joachim went into the wilderness, fasted, and prayed. I guess you're gonna have to do that!" (Easy for me to say, right? St. Anne just put her bridal clothes on, went in the garden, and asked God for a child. Hey, any excuse I can get to put my wedding gown back on is good by me!)

I hope everyone's psyched for SYTYCD tonight! I know I am!

2 comments:

allyouwhohope said...

That's funny because I have felt the same way this week. Just nothing interesting to say! By the way, did you ever end up getting your hair cut for your birthday?

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

I did! I'm just too lazy to actually take a picture and post it... maybe one of these days!