Thursday, August 21, 2014

How We Told

The first thing we did after finding out ourselves was to go to Mass for the Assumption.  There, I nearly broke down, overwhelmed with emotion at bringing my baby up to Holy Communion.  After Mass, we completed our Consecration prayers, and as is tradition, gave a symbol of a "gift" to Mary - we gave her one of the print-outs of our sonogram, and placed our baby, and our pregnancy, into her hands.

We tried to catch our priest after Mass, but he had already left :(

So, we headed off to DH's parents' house, where his mother is home with cancer, recuperating from surgery and preparing for a 2nd round of chemo.  We wanted her to be the first to know.  So, we brought her some paperwork to sign from one of her Drs, and inside the paperwork, we put the sonograms.  

When she opened it, she looked at us in disbelief and asked, "And... what is this...???"  "That's your grandbaby," we responded.

Our plan after that was to stop by my office quickly for a progesterone injection.

In preparation for the weekend, and *possibly* finding out we were pregnant on a Friday, I decided to give my NaPro Dr the head's up that I may be going for labs that Friday, so she could keep an eye out for them over the weekend.  I did this on Thursday, the 14th.  But, I knew I wanted to surprise her, too, since she's been waiting for this for just about as long as we have!  During lunch on Thursday, I quickly jotted down what I could remember about my cycle - how many days of bleeding, days of mucus, and the premenstrual spotting day, etc.  I brought it into the lunch room where she was working and grabbing a quick lunch, and said,

"Would you mind if I picked your brain about this chart?  This is one of my long-time infertility clients.  She wasn't charting at the time, but she went back and wrote down what she could remember."

Dr J said, "Did she take a pregnancy test??"

"No, not yet."

"Well, she needs to!"  and back to her work and lunch, she went.

So, I just quietly turned the chart over,

She jumped up with a yelp, and gave me a big hug, then immediately started to get me ready for a blood draw!  I stammered, well, we kinda want to wait until tomorrow to test... we're still not sure... to which she responded, if you're not pregnant, you can send me back to medical school.  Plus, as she pointed out, getting the blood work done on Thursday would allow us to have the results in hand on Friday, not sooner.  So I went ahead and got labs, but went to a local LabCorp for insurance purposes.

Walking into that LabCorp and seeing the SAME WOMAN who checked me in and drew my blood on more occasions that I'd care to remember was so surreal.  She didn't say anything specific about my blood order, but the entire time she entered it into the system, she had a huge smile on her face.  She asked if I wanted it STAT, if maybe the Dr "forgot" to write that on there.  I just said, "Ya know?  We've waited 8 years.  What's one more day?  No STAT necessary."  (Who am I???)

I sat in that chair, looked out the window with the same old Winnie the Pooh decals stuck on it, and just felt like I was a much different person that the one who had last come into that lab over 4 years before.  A much calmer person.  A much more peaceful person.  It felt wonderful.

After the ultrasound Friday morning, I checked my lab results:

Estradiol            310.6
hCG                 2,059
Progesterone     19.1

Praise the Lord!  All good, just a hair low on the progesterone, hence the injection on Friday afternoon.

(My 2nd results were from Tuesday, 8/19:

Estradiol            460.5
hCG                  11,902
Progesterone      32.8

I took a couple of vaginal suppositories Tue and Wed night to tie me over to the next injection tonight - but can now decrease to 100mg IM.  In all honesty, I'm on a super conservative regimen, right now, and may not even need injections.  I think my Dr's assuming the "take no prisoners" stance with this pregnancy!!)

We got the injection, then headed up to NY to tell me parents and sisters.

Now, since DH has been on hCG, and my family knew about this, and how it was the pregnancy hormone, and how funny it was that DH could pee on a stick and get a positive, but I couldn't, we used that joke to our advantage ;)  We picked up a couple of digital pregnancy tests.  (I knew my poor Dad wouldn't be able to read a regular one with lines.)  When we got to my parents' house, we both used the restroom, and both peed on a stick!!  One of my favorite memories of this whole weekend, actually, was waiting with DH as his pee stick finally registered the word "Pregnant."  OMG, so funny!!  He put his test in his pocket, and I put mine in my purse.

We went into the kitchen where my mom and sister were, and shot the breeze for a while, then, I feigned remembering DH's pregnancy test.

"R, do you have the pee stick on you, still?  The one I made you take today to show my parents?  Yeah, take a look at this, he got a positive test, after all these years, isn't it wonderful??!!"  We laughed as DH showed the test to my Mom, and she just pursed her lips in mild amusement and shook her head.  As the laughter died down, I quickly pulled out my test.

"And, here's mine."

And... my mother didn't believe me.

She thought I was kidding.  Said if it was a joke, she would murder me.  DH said, don't do that, it'll be a double homicide!

And then,

I showed them the video.  When I started listing my symptoms on the video, my Dad said, "Hm.  I must be pregnant."  Hahaha.

Evidently, there will be more installments to this news, because as the emails, comments, FB mssgs, voicemails, and texts come in, I am hearing more and more and more about just how perfectly timed this miracle seems to be.

As I've said before... there are no coincidences in my life.  Only God-incidences.

Praise God, now and forever.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

How We Found Out

If you know anything about me, by now, it's that I have a flair for the dramatic ;)

And so, when DH and I decided that we would test on the Feast of the Assumption, I knew that a plain ol' pregnancy test wouldn't do.  Not only do I loathe those things (and only took one AFTER pregnancy was confirmed, in order to plan out how to tell people... which will be the next post :P), but I also really wanted DH to be as much "in the know" as I was, and for us to find out at the same time in a big way.

Before Mass on Friday, we went in bright and early to my place of work, before anyone else was there, and, you guessed it... I magic wanded myself :)

Here, without further ado, is the video of that glorious moment we will never, EVER forget:

(Pay no attention to the magic wand in my hand that I thought was hidden behind 
me, but, what did I know, I was pretty much in a fog that entire morning.)

And now, I suppose, I will need to get a onesie for the TCIE baby with this logo...

Happiest of Anniversaries to my dear, sweet, inspiring, loving, supportive, strong, amazing husband!!  This has been a journey I cannot imagine going through with anyone else.

Your gift is still in the oven.  It'll be ready by late April, 2015 ;P

Monday, August 18, 2014

How I Knew

Disclaimer:  For those still suffering in the trenches of infertility/childlessness, please know that the posts that will follow may cause you further pain.  You are NOT obligated to read or comment, I assure you I will not be offended in the least, as I know your pain intimately.  Be kind to yourself, and know you are always in my prayers.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

The News

This is a post I stood convinced would never be written from my fingers, never appear on my blog, never materialize from my life.

And yet, here I stand (or, sit), writing it today.  Fully aware that it will be met with much joy, but also much pain.  So I must begin with a disclaimer, for those I feel most protective of, those of you who know the suffering of childlessness while others continue to receive their blessings... if you are in a bad place, today, please, be kind to yourself.  Click away.  Know you are at the forefront of my thoughts and prayers, and know that you can come back another day, if you so desire.

And for the rest of you, you may have guessed by now.  You may not believe what you are reading, you may be reading these words just as frantically as I am writing them.  You may be cursing at me for doing this in such traditional TCIE fashion as to draw out the drama as much as humanly possible.  But that won't stop me from basking in every. single. moment. of this moment I've dreamed of since I was a little girl.  This moment I still feel must be happening to someone else, because this can't be my life.  This moment of shock, awe, humility, gratitude, joy, happiness, peace, and a whole lot o' "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A soul other than my own has been sent down upon me.

TCIE is pregnant.

Did I really just type that?  Is this a joke?  Am I for real?

While I'm still in a place of disbelief, and talking about it feels as if I'm having an out-of-body experience, I assure you - it's the God's honest truth.  We found out yesterday, on the Feast of the Assumption.  For those of you who know just how important and crucial that date is for us, it should be no surprise.  Nothing about this timing, in fact, is ordinary.  And yet at the same time, this appeared to be, on paper, the LEAST likely time for it to occur. 

I will post during the week a series with more information, entitled How I Knew, How We Found Out, and How We Told... (I know you're on the edge of your seats.)

But, for now, dear blog readers, friends, and sisters in Christ I may have never known existed - Be content to know that from this moment onward, TCIE is Barren No More.

I am a mother.  Forever more.

"Because He who is mighty has done great things for me,
And holy is His name."  - Magnificat